Part 7: Sex

Welcome back. We are continuing our study on the theology of man, looking at gender specifically. And as we're studying gender, you really can't talk about gender without addressing the issue of sex. And so the Bible says a whole lot about sex. So we're going to take some time and walk through mostly 1 Corinthians 5-7 that addresses some very important specifics We'll be looking elsewhere a little bit, but let's make it very clear, God says a lot about it. The church cannot be silent about it. We need to be able to think God's thoughts after Him. We need to be able to talk about the things He talks about well. And so today we're going to have this session to help us understand male and female, especially as it relates to sex. We're going to look at it in four categories. First, the problem, and that is just defining our terms. Whenever we want to talk about a serious issue, we want to make sure we're defining our terms. So that's the problem, is the terminology needs to be clarified. Second, we'll look at the perversion. sexual perversion, how we in our sin take God's good gift and twist it. We'll then look at the power of sex, what it actually is and what it does, and how God designed it. And then finally, the purpose. We'll see how it functions in marriage. So first, the problem. And here we're going to wrestle with terms. Gender and sex are related, but not the way our culture usually talks about them. I was listening to a podcast the other day and a scientist was very bold in saying gender is something you're born with and sex is how you identify, it's how you decide how you're going to identify and function. The Bible doesn't talk about it that way. When we see our culture and the way that sex is everywhere in advertising and entertainment, but yet not a lot of good, serious discussion about it, you see idolatry possible. Whenever you're afraid of talking about something, but yet it's everywhere, there's a possible idol. And so we want to make sure we're thinking about it well. There are two options, well actually a few options, the way you can talk about and think about sex. One is to treat it like a God. Something to be served. It is such an amazing gift of God. It can be treated like a God itself. Well, we as Christians, we need to make sure we are treating it always as just that, and that is a gift. Not something to be served, but something to steward, because it is from God. Because it's from God, he's told us a lot about it. The first thing we realize is when the Bible talks about sex, it's not an identity, it's not a choice, it's an activity. Gender is a identity given to us by God. In Genesis 127, going all the way back to those first sessions, God declared about us, we are made in his image, male and female. Those are all identities. Every human being made in the image of God, male and female being two distinct, different identities. And then the first words to God, he blesses them and says, be fruitful. We see there already in the design a command even, what he calls a blessing, for sex and that procreating, filling the earth with image bearers is what's expected. Then Genesis 2, we saw that first wedding ceremony where God brings Eve to Adam and he declares at last, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Then the summary statement, the two shall become one flesh. Image bearers, yes, they're of the same kind, but male and female, the differences are important. The distinctions there are speaking volumes because those two are going to become one flesh, which is speaking of a covenant union, the marriage, and is speaking of sex. It's the way in which they will unite together and celebrate that union. Sex has a design. It's for procreation. It's meant to bind and celebrate a marriage. It is the most intimate and exclusive activity that a husband and a wife should share together and share with no one else. It is a powerful gift because of that uniting bond that it creates. And so that's what we're going to look at because it is such a good gift. It is a very powerful gift. We twist it and corrupt it and so we need to think about the dangers of how we can twist it and corrupt it. Let's go to the perversion of the gift, the perversion of sex. We're looking at 1 Corinthians 5 and we'll just look at verses one to five. Paul says, it is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans. For a man has his father's wife and you are arrogant. Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. For though absent in body, I am present in spirit, and as of present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. When you assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord. Paul's speaking to a church and he's addressing a real problem. He can't believe that they're permitting, it's a permissive church. Sexual morality is named among you. And it's of such a type that it's so public, it's so gross that the neighbors would be astonished. A man is sleeping with his father's wife. Here we see sexual sin is in the church, so what should the church do? Paul's instructions are very clear. Remove this person. Remove them from the good standing where they're partaking of the Lord's Supper, assuming that they're okay with Jesus, even though they are defaming his name by their practice. The person is to be removed for three reasons. The name of Christ is put on that person if they're part of the church, and therefore the name of Christ is to be held up in such honor that that kind of sin cannot be a name, cannot be named among those who take that one glorious name. The second reason is the last verse we read. This is for the man's salvation. It's for the man's salvation that he would recognize how serious this sin is, how he is going against Christ in every way, how his life does not represent Christ or is obedient to Christ. And so for the salvation of this man's soul, remove him so he'll take seriously the sexual morality. The third reason is for the protection of the church. He says, purge the evil later on in the passage from among you. You shouldn't associate with somebody who is practicing this kind of sexual morality. And he says, of course, I'm not talking about the world. I'm talking about those in the church, those who are named as brothers. There's a purity that Paul desires, which is why he'll command, flee sexual morality, abstain from sexual morality, pursue purity. We'll see how serious this sin is in the next chapter, 1 Corinthians 6, 9. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you, but you are washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. This is a significant and clear judgment. Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? He's not declaring that you can earn your way into salvation. He's simply saying if you've been declared righteous, you are going to begin living in a righteous way. Don't be deceived. Don't believe the lie that somehow you can be permissive about sexual morality, idolatry, adultery, homosexuality, and still inherit the kingdom of God. He just made sex a gospel issue. He just made our sexual corruptions a gospel issue because if you are practicing these things, if you're embracing these things, you're not going to inherit the kingdom of God. Why? Because God who has designed you and Christ who has redeemed you and given you his instructions, he said, if you love me, you'll keep my commandments. These kinds of sins, they're defaming the name of Christ and they corrupt you. And it's a list. It's sexual immorality, adultery, idolatry, which is oftentimes practiced with sex, and homosexuality. Now, look there at verse 11. And such were some of you. This is why it's so important. You were this way, but you've been delivered from the domain of darkness. You've been delivered into the kingdom of the beloved Son. You were washed. You've been cleansed. You were sanctified. You've been set apart. You've been justified. You've been declared righteous in the name of Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit. These perversions are unfit or unfitting for those who carry such a glorious name. Let's look at this one word, sexual morality. We actually get the word pornography from this word porno, porneo. It's kind of the most generic word that talks about any and all kinds of sexual perversion. It represents what's wrong with sex. We see God's design is for procreation and to Express love to celebrate union, to give yourself over to the marriage partner that God has given you. Sex has a unique, powerful way in which it celebrates and unites in a way that you express love to enjoy someone else. If you think about pornography or masturbation, it's the exact opposite of that. It's just pure self-indulgence. It's just pure selfish sexual desires, not giving yourself over, not expressing love. It's a gross self-love. It's a bad self-love. Because what you're doing is practicing something that's so against what God has designed and taking what God has given and twisting it so much that you're actually practicing and getting better at something that's going to keep you from enjoying what God has given you. To speak of sexual sin, let's just be very clear. Everyone has sexual perversion. Everyone has sexual confusion. Everyone has some kind of sexual frustration, all of us. We all sin and we all have some kind of problem where we've taken this amazing good gift and we've been confused by it, our desires, We've used it wrongly. And what we need to look at is how God has changed us by washing us, justifying us, and sanctifying us. There's two things we need to look at with sex. The desires and the practice. Paul's talking about the practices here. Those who practice these things should not inspect and inherit the kingdom of God. The reason practices are important is that those kind of rituals, they shape us and they change us. Those are desires. Paul says, put away sinful desires. Do not be persuaded by those deceitful desires. Jesus says, deny yourself. To be clear, just because it is a desire that comes from within doesn't make it good. Jesus says that what defiles us is actually what comes from within. There's a lot of desires that we have to deny and put off and put to death and put away from us because they draw us away from Christ. The next thing we see about sex is the power of sex. The power of sex. We see here in 1 Corinthians 6, beginning in verse 15. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, the two will become one flesh. But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but a sexual immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own. Notice the emphasis there on the body. We're body and soul. God has created us with a body that is meant to be used for his glory. What we do with this body has real spiritual significance. Your body has been united with Christ. How could you unite your body with a prostitute? Male and female, those distinctions are found in the body and what we do with this body matters. Notice the power of this reasoning here and what he says sex does. Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute, that is has sex with a prostitute, becomes one body with her? And he quotes that covenant language of marriage. Because the Lord said to become one flesh. Sex is a powerful uniter. This is why it cannot be something done casually. The activity of sex is uniting yourself with what's supposed to be your spouse in a deeper, more covenant-loving union. Sex binds you. It's a very powerful act emotionally, physically, psychologically. This is why it's a sin against your own body, because you're connecting yourself to another through this action. Why shouldn't you do this? Because you've been united with Christ. And because the Holy Spirit dwells within you. You are a temple. Notice that language. You're not your own. You have been bought with a price. The precious blood of Christ. This means you really need to take seriously these desires. Sexual desires, sexual thoughts, sexual actions. We need to see how important they are and how God has warned us very clearly as to why they're so dangerous if we do not take those thoughts captive, if we don't deny those desires, if we don't practice the way God has called us to practice. We think about attraction, right? Sexual attraction. We need to realize that whatever we're attracted to is drawing us. That's what it means to be attracted. You're being drawn to. Now, the reality is there's a lot of attractive things out there. That doesn't mean they're always good. Eve was attracted to the fruit, but it was not good for her to take it because God said no. There are a lot of attractive other women out there, but if they're not my wife, I cannot entertain that attraction because I will be drawn to them away from my wife in a way that would not in any way glorify God. We need to take seriously the kinds of things we're letting attract us. If all you're doing is letting yourself be attracted to whatever does appear to you, you're not disciplined as a follower of Christ. We need to make sure that we are in control of those things that are attractive. Here's the good news. When you're being called up to Christ, you're being called to look at, enjoy, and desire that which is most attractive, the one glorious God. He is most lovely, and he calls us back into a loving relationship with him. We need to protect what we're being attracted to. We need to protect our palate so that we have a taste for the things of God. Our fourth point, the purpose. God has designed sex with a purpose. We see there that it unites people, but it's supposed to unite specifically a husband and a wife. And we talked about earlier that there's a worry that sex can be treated like a god, something to be served. We need to always make sure we see sex as a gift, something to be stewarded, according to God's word. Well, Paul actually is confronting another way in which the church has oftentimes been guilty of falling into a lie, and that sex is gross. It's a serious problem in which we, if we think sex is just gross, we don't think about it seriously the way God says. Paul, in responding to a problem, addresses the issue of, is sex gross? 1 Corinthians 7, beginning in verse 1. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another. except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourself to prayer, but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." This is an important passage, especially if we think about 1 Peter 3 and the call to wives be subject to your husbands. Ephesians 5, wives submit to your husbands and all things. We see here that there's a mutual authority given to husbands and wives. There's an acknowledgement of real temptation and that there is a call for husbands and wives to engage proactively in sex because it is the way they remember their union. It's the way they celebrate their union. It's the way they build their union. There is a right and a privilege of a spouse. He calls it conjugal rights, the marital rights. The rights and privileges of marriage are sex. And what's most provocative about this passage? is that it's a mutual right. Notice, this is the most exclusive, the most important, the most intimate part of marriage, and this is where Paul doesn't say, wives submit in husbands' love, he says, the wife has rights and authority, and the husband has rights and authority over the other one's body. It's very powerful because a Greco-Roman world would have said, yeah, of course a husband has authority over his wife. Paul says the wife has authority over her husband's body. That's provocative, that's counter-cultural, that's declaring that they're both made in the image of God, and whenever you enter that marital union, there is a mutual giving yourself over to the other for them. It's her right to have you love her in sex and vice versa. The covenant love is binding. That's the purpose. The marriage bed is not to be defiled, it's to be held up in honor. And that means sex shouldn't be neglected. Sex is important for a healthy marriage. Sex is important to remember that marriage because it's the one thing you will not share with anyone else. Notice verse five. Paul does say that if maybe for a limited time, if you both agree, You should abstain. In the early church, they interpreted this to be all night prayer vigils. But notice he's saying for a limited time, if you both agree. There's a concern for a marriage that doesn't regularly pursue sex. And if especially one spouse is pursuing, the other is always neglecting. One of the ways you can defile the marriage bed is by neglecting. This is a way in which you're prioritizing your spouse. Yeah, it's hard sometimes, because you've got work, You got kids, you got chores, you're tired. Well, this is where having a properly prioritized life is important to make sure you prioritize your loves. You're prioritizing your spouse by making sure that whatever you're giving, you're giving them what they need and what is actually prescribed. I will give some advice to men here. You should try to clean the floors and do some dishes. that might work out well for you. Sex is a way to regularly celebrate. It is a way to keep a healthy marriage. We look at it, sex is meant to protect your spouse from sexual morality. That's why he actually commands it to be regular. It's also a way to pursue and love your spouse. A few questions before we end. The first is this. Am I incomplete if I do not experience sex? you're single for the rest of your life, maybe you don't have an attraction to the opposite sex, and you're wondering, will I be incomplete if I do not experience sex? Of course not. Sex does not complete a human being. Sex completes marriage. You do not need to be sexually active to be fully human. You need to be united with Christ to be restored and renewed to the image of God that he has designed you to be and that he's restored you by the power of the Holy Spirit growing up to Christ. That is the completion and contentment and satisfaction you long for. Sex does not complete you. Sex merely completes a marriage. Second question. What should I do when I experience sexual sins, sexual temptation, outside of God's parameters? The first thing is recognize it is a good gift that God has allowed you to see sexual temptation. Praise God that He actually allows you to see that and recognize it for what it is. If we do not see sexual sin and how dangerous it is and how destructive it is, we're not going to put it away. The first thing we ask is, God forgive me. Confess that sin. That's the first thing we always do when we see sin, we wanna confess it, and we confess it to the God who sent his son to die on the cross for our sins, who rose again and is quick to show mercy. Confess. Be restored then by the confidence you have that you are forgiven by that sin, and that is the power by which you can now reject and resist the temptation of the sin. But when you're overwhelmed with guilt because of sin, you're never going to fight sin well. I call this the sexual sin spin cycle. Satan makes you think, I have to give in to this sin. The sin of temptation is so overwhelming, I have to give in. And then after you do it, the feeling and the overwhelming guilt just overpowers you. You hear the voice, how can he not partake? And then you hear the voice, how could you? Well, the way to get out of that is by first confessing your sin to the one who died for your sin and getting firm footing that you are forgiven in Christ and then asking for the power to resist that temptation. Last question, what should I do when somebody confesses sexual sin? Well, the first thing you should do is try to be the voice of Jesus Christ and say, you're forgiven in Jesus Christ. Give them assurance that the power of the cross is so much more powerful than the power of our sexual sin. That in Christ, they are forgiven. And as they've confessed that sin, they are forgiven. And then help them see, according to Scripture, what God has designed and what is good and how to flee from sexual morality. Welcome them as God has welcomed you and embrace. Then walk alongside of them, helping them to resist. Church, we have to talk about humanity, gender, and sex, because they're so important for who we are. It's so important to how God has designed us. It's important to know how to function according to God's design. And it's very important to know how we are supposed to be restored to the image of Christ, and especially celebrating marriage with sex.