Singleness is Better?

Well, the sermon title says it all. Singleness is better? Question mark. Verse 38, so then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. What do we make of that? The rest of scripture is so positive about marriage, how God designed it. How from the very beginning God made us male and female so that we might be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. I mean, if not for God's design of marriage and sexuality, there would be no single people. So what do we say? Proverbs 18.22, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Or Psalm 127, verses three through five. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. So marriage and children are blessings and signs of God's favor. And then even in the New Testament, consider how Paul describes the even greater significance of marriage in light of the coming of Christ. How we can see now that all along God had designed marriage to be a reflection of the relationship between Christ and his people, the church. And so we see marriage is a wonderful, glorious thing. And in light of that, what Paul says here can seem theologically confusing. But more than that, it can also be personally unsettling. Maybe you're here this morning and you're single and you yearn to marry. But this passage seems unsettling because now you're afraid, well, maybe my desires aren't best. Or maybe you're here and you are married, but you hear this passage and it's unsettling because you're thinking, well, did I choose second best for my life? What do we do about this? Well, we're going to look at that this morning. But before we do, let me review where we've been and kind of bring us back up to this particular section in 1 Corinthians that we've arrived at. So, Paul previously had established a church in Corinth. You can read about that in Acts chapter 18. And presently, as Paul writes this letter, he is in Ephesus, where he's got about a three-year stint there. And while in Ephesus, he's both received visitors from Corinth, who've given reports about what's going on, and he's also received at least one letter from the Corinthians, which has brought up various issues and asked various questions. And in general, you can divide the book into two halves, where chapters 1 through 6 are Paul responding to the reports he's heard, and then chapters 7 through 16 are Paul responding to issues raised in the Corinthians letter. And in chapters 1 through 4, Paul deals with the first issue that was reported, which is that of disunity. The Corinthians were sort of allying themselves behind whichever preacher they thought was the most rhetorically impressive. And that was creating division in the church. And Paul has to explain to them that no, the gospel is not advanced through worldly wisdom or eloquence, right? The cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. No, it's advanced by the power of God through weak, humble servants. Well, then in chapter 5, Paul deals with another issue he's heard reports about, which is that there's a man in the church who has his father's wife. And this egregious, shameful, sexual immorality is being tolerated by the church. And so Paul has to tell them, you need to exercise church discipline and remove this man from among you. And then in chapter 6, yet another issue where there seem to be Corinthians in the church who are suing one another in the public courts. And Paul has to explain to them how shameful this is for God's saints, who are the ones who are supposed to be proclaiming God's judgment and this wonderful gospel of reconciliation to a world, and here they are taking their own conflicts before that world, asking them to judge them. So it's just this shameful irony. And then finally, in the second half of chapter six, Paul has to deal with yet another problem of broader sexual immorality in the church, where some of the Corinthians were actually visiting prostitutes. And this actually would have been quite commonplace and probably very culturally acceptable. And the Corinthians are sort of justifying it under this mantra, all things are lawful for me. We're under grace, not law, right? And by the way, it's really not what I do with my body that matters, because it's my soul that counts. And Paul has to counter all this by saying, no, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, meant for holiness. So glorify God in your body. Now in chapter seven, Paul transitions to responding to the Corinthian letter. And you'll notice that if you look at chapter seven, verse one, he says, now concerning the matters about which you wrote. And that little phrase now concerning will come up again and again in the subsequent chapters. And that's sort of how Paul marks a new section. So you'll see our section today begins with now concerning. And then Paul kind of mentions the topic that he's responding to. And in chapter 7, verse 1, it's very clear what the topic is because he quotes the Corinthians. And some of them were saying it is good for a man not to touch a woman, meaning not to have sexual relations with a woman. And apparently, kind of in response, in sort of opposition to the very sexually permissive groups in the church, there are others who are fairly ascetic. You know, they're sort of on the other extreme, and then they're looking at this saying, you know, sex is really something that's just best altogether avoided. And so they're saying, well, you should either stay single, or if you're married, maybe you should just dissolve your marriage to become single, or if you stay married, you really just need to abstain from sexual relations altogether. And Paul's response to that is interesting, because Paul is actually very pro-singleness. We will see that today as well. but he's strongly anti-abstinence within marriage, he's strongly anti-divorce, and he's strongly anti-asceticism. So he tells married people that they must not deny their spouse their conjugal rights, and they also must not seek divorce. They should stay in the marriage, they should be faithful to their vows, and glorify God in that calling. On the other hand, he tells singles that singleness is good. He's like, hey, I wish everybody was single like me. But then he immediately qualifies it by saying, but each has his own gift from God. Right? So don't try to stay single if that's not what God has gifted you for. In that case, it's better to marry. And then Paul concludes that section by tying all of this counsel together according to a fundamental underlying principle. Remain as you are. Now, the point isn't never change your station in life. I mean, even in those sections, you see exceptions that Paul gives for good reasons to change your station of life if you have the opportunity or to seek that even. But the point is, in whatever position you're in, be faithful to where God has you. Don't live as if you were in somebody else's position of life. or even become overly focused on changing your station of life, realize where God has you and be faithful there. That's the principle that Paul kind of lands his argument with. Now that brings us to verse 25, where Paul addresses a different but closely interrelated question. And unfortunately, Paul doesn't tell us what it is like he did before. He just says in verse 25, now concerning the betrothed, or literally it says now concerning virgins. And you know, whatever it is, it has to do with those who have yet to marry, and perhaps especially those who are already engaged to be married. And even though we don't know what exactly the question was, it's not hard to imagine why there would be confusion, conflict, and anxiety over this in Corinth. As we've already seen, the church is divided. There's rampant sexual immorality in the church. And we know that there is some vocal influential group within the church that's advocating total sexual abstinence. So you can imagine what those people are saying. You know, if you're a virgin, do not get married. You know, even if you're betrothed and engaged, you know, they're sort of pressuring people not to go through with it. You know, and they're saying singleness is better, it's more spiritual, it's holier, it's more pure, and perhaps, if you get married, that would even be sin. And then just think of the couples themselves, you know, who are sort of subject to all this pressure. I mean, they are confused. They've got high anxiety over this. You know, maybe one of them is sort of being convinced maybe we shouldn't go forward and the other one feels different and, I mean, this is just a mess. And so it makes sense that this question would one way or another sort of come through in a letter to Paul. And in verses 25 through 40, Paul is giving his pastoral counsel in response to this question. Now, the first thing to notice is that Paul applies the same remain-as-you-are principle. So in verse 26, he says, it is good for a person to remain as he is. And then he sort of explains that in verse 27. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. The principle is, if you're married, well, stay married. If you're single, stay single. And because of that, In this situation, Paul actually seems to agree with the Corinthians conclusions that, you know, it would probably be better if you stay single. Verse 26 literally reads, I think then that this is good. That in view of the present distress, it is good for a man to remain as he is. It is good twice. It's almost like he's responding, yeah, what you said, that was good. But then he seems to give a different reason, a different rationale for it. As you go through, it's clear. Paul is thinking in completely different categories. He has completely different rationale for why this would be good. And he gives a lot more nuance about what is good in any particular individual situation. And so as you go through verses 29 through 35, Paul sort of further explains that rationale. And then in verses 36 through 38, he gives, he kind of brings it to, okay, here's my specific advice, and this seems especially geared toward betrothed couples. And he concludes, so then, he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. And I think for us, this probably is sort of a shocking conclusion. And it leaves us wondering, why? I mean, why would Paul suggest this? And then just if you're wondering about the last couple of verses, it seems like Paul basically then, you know, he's been talking to virgins, and now he sort of turns to widows. And once again, he relates basically the same advice. It's the principle, remain as you are. And he says, but you're free to marry, even though I'm recommending that you remain single. And in view of all of this, I think the big question is, why does Paul recommend this? And what does this mean for us? Well, I think there's two basic views. I just want to outline those from the get-go. The first view would say, there's something unique about the Corinthian situation. Paul is not giving general advice for us. He's giving specific counsel for a specific and highly unusual situation in Corinth. And this view is based on verse 26, where Paul says, in view of the present distress or necessity, It is good for a person to remain as he is. So perhaps there is something unusually, pressingly difficult in Corinth, like persecution or a famine, which makes marriage inadvisable under these circumstances. And so this is just not the best time to get married and start a family. As one commentator put it, troubled seas are no time for changing ships. So, of course, that view is attractive because it makes it much easier to understand how Paul can say singleness is better, right? It's not better in general. It's just better in this particular unusual context. But there are several challenges with this view. First, it depends heavily on an interpretation of the present distress that's just not clear or explicit in the text. Because Paul does not actually say anything about a famine or persecution. And the fact is we just don't know for sure what he meant. And I think, just as a general principle, we need to be cautious about being too quick to assume, you know, this passage of Scripture doesn't really apply to me or my situation. You know, this is sort of for them and their situation and, you know, we're kind of going to rest heavily on this historical context that kind of says it's a different situation. Second, I don't get the sense, as I read 1 Corinthians, that they were a terribly persecuted church. You know, if anything, they sound like a church that's kind of too in with the world rather than opposed to it. Right? They're all about worldly wisdom. You know, they kind of want to impress the world. That doesn't sound like a church that's being persecuted, especially any worse than the rest of the churches at this time. Third, while there is historical evidence of a famine, there were probably grain shortages that would have been affecting Corinth and surrounding areas during this time. It's not obvious to me that that's the specific kind of struggle Paul has in mind as you read the ensuing verses. You know, if I was sort of counseling people about whether to marry or not in view of a famine, I think the first thing I would think of is, well, the kids. I mean, you don't have more mouths to feed when you already don't have enough food. But Paul doesn't say anything about children here. And in fact, in verses 32 through 34, when he talks about the anxiety that marriage can bring, notice that he says, anxious how to please his spouse. He doesn't say anxious how to provide for, how to care for, how to protect, but anxious how to please, how to have the favor of or be acceptable to one's spouse. So that just sounds a bit more general to me than, you know, sort of a famine. It could be, but it's not the cleanest fit. And then fourth, I think this view struggles to make sense of what Paul means in verses 29 through 31, right? Where Paul, you know, he kind of says, this is what I mean, and then he expands it to something that ultimately ends with, for the present form, for the form of this present world is passing away. I mean, that's not something specific to Corinth. That's clearly much more universal. That's an eschatological reality. So that's the first view and some challenges with it. Well, what's the second view? Well, the second view is basically Paul is expressing a more general preference for singleness. And if that's the case, well then this advice, this counsel would apply to us much more directly. This is Paul's counsel to you and me much more directly. And according to this view, verses 29 through 31 actually explain what Paul means by the present distress. The present distress is the eschatological reality that the present form of this world is passing away. And with it, there will come times of tribulation. So Paul is commending singleness because of the urgency of our kingdom mission and because of its functional or practical utility toward that end. And this view is really attractive for all of the reasons that the first view is not, but it also has challenges of its own. First, as I mentioned in the introduction, well, you know, how then does this jive with the rest of scripture, right? Which speaks so positively of marriage and tells us to be fruitful and multiply. Second, if Paul means to say singleness is in any sense generally better, Does that not risk creating tears in the church, as if some people are in an inherently better state? Would that not undermine what Paul said in verses 17 through 24, where he gives slavery and circumcision as examples, and he's really saying, whether you're married or not, your state before God, that's not what really counts. It's about being faithful in whichever state you're in. And then third, and this is really most specific, If this is sort of general advice, how then do we explain 1 Timothy chapter 5 verse 14, where Paul actually gives the opposite advice in a different situation. There he says to Timothy, I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. So in that situation, Paul actually recommends marriage. Now, I lay all that out there just to help you feel the tension and appreciate this is a tricky text. And there's a lot riding on that little phrase because of the present distress and sort of historical things that it's hard for us to be super sure about, because it's just not explicitly there in the text. And I've wrestled with that a lot this week, and I certainly don't pretend to have it all figured out. So if you came here thinking, finally, all my questions of 1 Corinthians 7 will be answered, I'm sorry to disappoint you. But I do want to encourage you this morning that even in hard texts, even in texts that we do not have all the answers to, God's Word is still powerful. And God's Word still speaks with sufficient clarity to equip us for all that we need for life and godliness. You know, God's Word may not tell us everything that we would like to know or want to know, but it's sufficient to tell us how to please God and how to walk in wisdom in our lives. And in that vein, I want to start with four preliminary observations from this text that really transcend the interpretive debate. But I think they're very helpful for thinking about, how does this apply to my life? And my first preliminary observation is this. This is not an issue of sin and righteousness. This is actually Paul giving his advice. And in that respect, this is a very unusual text. You don't really see a lot of other places in the New Testament like this. But Paul makes that very clear. Look first at verse 25. Paul says, now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment. Or actually that word there, judgment, can also be translated opinion. as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy." So Paul's saying, this is my opinion or advice. He says it's good advice, right? We know that it's inspired advice, but it's advice. It's not a command. It's not an issue of sin and righteousness. And this becomes even more clear as you look at verses 27, 28. You know, Paul ultimately advises, well, don't seek a wife, but then he says, but if you do marry, You have not sinned. And if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Actually, it's very clear. Even if you don't take my advice, you're not sinning. Look at verse 35. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. He's going out of his way to saying this in no way is restraining or restricting your freedom. It's advice. Again, verse 36, if anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong and it has to be, let him do as he wishes, let them marry, it is no sin. Right, once again, no matter how you interpret this passage, Paul is crystal clear that you are perfectly obeying God if you decide to marry. That is not a sinful thing to do. In fact, the only command in the whole passage is in verse 39, where Paul tells widows that they're free to marry, but only in the Lord. In other words, he's saying, you're free to marry or not, but if you get married, you have to marry another Christian. And that's true for all of us, right? We're commanded if we're going to marry as Christians, we have to marry another Christian. But whether you marry or not is up to you. It's not commanded. And friends, just think for a moment about the significance of that fact. I mean, we tend to so elevate this decision of whether or not to marry to this incredibly important level. But there's actually a sense in which your decision to pursue marriage or not is less spiritually significant than the decision you made this morning when someone irritated you. And you either decided to respond harshly or with kind, gentle words. Because that was a matter of sin and righteousness. That was an opportunity to either please God or displease Him. That was a situation in which God's glory was either magnified or tarnished by what you decided to do. But whether you decide to marry or not is not in and of itself a matter of sin and righteousness. It's not a decision that makes you more or less pleasing to God. We have genuine Christian freedom here. And Paul's very clear about that in this text. Now a second preliminary observation. Paul's goal here is to relieve anxiety, not create it. You know, as I said in the introduction, I fear that there are people here who are already, you know, this passage is inducing anxiety. You know, either because you're single and you're afraid, this is telling you you're sort of bound to singleness, or because you're married and you're afraid that you somehow made the second best choice for your life. Well, I just want to direct your attention to verse 32, where Paul says explicitly, I want you to be free from anxieties. And we just notice Paul's pastoral heart as he writes this to the Corinthians, right? He's writing to free them from anxiety. So friends, it would be painfully ironic if this text makes us anxious. Paul wants to free the Corinthians from whatever anxieties that marriage might introduce into their situation. But I think he also wants to free them from whatever anxiety might be surrounding the decision itself. Remember how I said, you know, they're probably being pressured, you know, to do one thing or the other, to not marry. And they're even being warned, you know, you might be sinning if you do that. Well, just think about how Paul again and again, he gives his advice and yet he's like, but you're not sinning. You are not sinning. And then he concludes it at the end of the day, not by saying this is a choice between good and bad, not even by saying this is a choice between better and worse. This is a choice between good and better. I mean, both options are good. There is not a bad choice here. You can't go wrong. So don't be anxious about it. Now, a third preliminary observation. Paul says he wants us to be happy. Look at verse 40. He gives this advice to widows and then he says, yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. Now I find that striking because I think that we tend to view singleness as like the harder and more painful but possibly nobler path. Right? So if anyone's going to recommend singleness, we're kind of bracing for, you know, they're going to go on, well, it's for the greater good of the kingdom, and, you know, we need to take up our cross and follow Jesus, and it's about self-denial and suffering. That's actually not at all what Paul says here. I mean, he says, stay single because I think you'll be happier. You know, as you saw before, stay single because I think you will have less anxiety in life. Stay single because, in verse 28, those who marry will have worldly troubles. They're gonna have tribulation and hardship, and I would spare you that. In other words, at the end of the day, Paul is recommending what he thinks is the easier, less anxiety-inducing, happier option. And the general point I would infer from that is this. Whatever God's will for you with respect to marriage and singleness is, it's not divorced from his desire for you to be happy. Whatever God's will for you with respect to marriage and singleness is, it's not divorced from God's desire for you to be happy. And that comes to then our fourth and final preliminary observation, which is that singleness can be for a season. Singleness can be for a season. Notice how that's assumed by the inclusion of widows there at the end. Right? The widow, just like everyone else, it is advised, remain as you are. Not in some fixed state as called to be married or called to be single, but as someone who was once called to marriage and is now presently called to singleness. So God's calling can change. God can give you the gift of singleness for a season, and then he can give you the gift of marriage for another. And then he might give you the gift of singleness again. And the point is, you should not think that the blessing of singleness is for people who are called to lifelong singleness, but not for you. Friend, in whatever season of life you're single, all the blessing, all the benefits, everything Paul is saying that's good about singleness, those are yours in that season. So take advantage of and enjoy the gift of singleness while you're single, and take advantage of and enjoy the gift of marriage while you're married. Don't just think that one or the other is necessarily your lifelong calling. And that until you can sort of navigate yourself into that state, you're just sort of in a holding pattern. No, friend. You're called to the state you're in right now, so be faithful there. And those are my... for preliminary observations. It's not a matter of sin and righteousness. Paul wants to relieve anxiety, not create it. Paul wants us to be happy, and singleness can be for a season. And I hope that just seeing that kind of from the get-go helps sort of put the interpretive difficulty in its proper context. Now, with all that foundation laid, does Paul give the counsel he does based on something specific to Corinth, Or is this more general advice? Well, I think the best answer is probably to say that Corinth may well be experiencing some particular difficulties. Perhaps a famine in particular. And I do think that may well influence some of Paul's sort of specific counsel here. But at the same time, Paul understands those difficulties to be part of a far greater eschatological reality. You know, Jesus himself says that this age will be marked by wars, earthquakes, pestilences, and famines, and that there will be great distress, and that these are like birth pains leading up to his return. So I do think Paul is connecting whatever sort of specific difficulties are going on in Corinth to something far more general and worldwide, right, to this eschatological reality. And I think what that means is that, on one hand, we can say, okay, this advice is situational. I mean, Paul is writing to Corinth. At the same time, I mean, there's a great sense in which there's a thrust of this. This is not just for them and not for us. There is a great degree to which we should hear this and think very seriously about what is this saying about the goodness and the benefit of singleness for us. And here's how I would summarize the fundamental point of this passage. The present form of this world is passing away. rendering even things as good as marriage secondary to undivided devotion to the Lord. So whether one marries or stays single must be practically considered in light of that reality. I'll say that again. So the present form of this world is passing away, rendering even things as good as marriage secondary to undivided devotion to the Lord. So, whether one chooses to marry or stay single must be practically considered in light of that reality. Now, there's three elements of this that I want to unpack, and the first is proper perspective. Proper perspective. Look with me at verses 29 through 31. Paul says, this is what I mean, brothers. So he's clarifying and elaborating on what he just said in verses 26 through 28 about the present distress and worldly troubles. This is what I mean. The appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it, for the present form of this world is passing away." Right? So Paul's asked a question about vergence, and he responds by trying to sort of pull up our vantage point so that we can gain this perspective. The appointed time is very short, and the present form of this world is passing away. Now, Paul's point is not, don't marry, don't rejoice, don't mourn, don't buy and sell. I mean, of course, these are all fine and necessary things. They are integral parts of the form of this present world. We must do them. We should do them because it's the world in which we live. The point is, don't treat any of these things as if they were ultimate or eternal. They belong to a world that's passing away. And we need to have the perspective to see that. Oh friends, the fact is, any moment, the trump will sound, and the Lord will descend, and the clouds be rolled back as a scroll. The dead will rise to be judged by Christ, and everything that we have known and experienced in this life will be eclipsed by a new and greater reality, the glorious kingdom of the one who makes all things new. And friends, on that day, it won't ultimately matter if we married or stayed single. It won't ultimately matter if our present life was marked by great joys or much sorrow, and it certainly won't matter what money or possessions we have. What will be all important is whether or not we acknowledged our sin before the Holy God, and whether we came to Jesus Christ in repentance and faith. and accepted Him as our Lord and Savior, trusting in what He has done for us on the cross. And in response to that, giving ourselves to Him, our undivided devotion to Him. So friends, we must live in light of that reality. We must not cling to the things of this world as if they were ultimate. Don't lay up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. Don't weep like those who have no hope. And don't rejoice as if earthly things were to last forever. And don't elevate even something as wonderful and integral to the created order as marriage to the position of ultimacy. Because even marriage belongs to the present form of this world, which is passing away. That's the perspective we need to start with if we're gonna think well about should I marry or should I stay single? But secondly, we need to set the right goal. We need to set the right goal. Look with me at verses 32 through 35. Paul continues, I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious or concerned about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. but the married man is anxious or concerned about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit, but the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Now, we've already discussed how Paul wants the Corinthians to be happy, and he wants them to be anxiety-free, as verse 32 says, but here we should see that really what all of that is aimed at is this higher, greater, more fundamental goal, which is to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Now, the word good order means a part serving at its full capacity. It's you or I functioning where we should be with all our ability and gifts, unhindered in any way. An undivided devotion, well, that's really loving the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. It means doing everything that you do for the Lord. Not with divided or shared affections, allegiance, or loyalty. And friends, of course the point is that that should be the goal of each and every one of our lives. Right? If we have the perspective that we should, then it will be obvious that that's what really counts. That we would be in good order and that we would be undividedly devoted to Christ. The perspective helps us see that's the goal and that we should make every decision we make in life with that goal in mind. Now, I think Paul's point is that marriage is not necessarily the most conducive to good order and undivided devotion because of the practical limitations it brings. He's not saying that concerning yourself with pleasing your spouse is somehow opposed to devotion to the Lord. No, of course, if you're married, that is a necessary part of your devotion to the Lord. But what he's saying is that marriage inevitably adds responsibility, complexity, and limitation to your life that may be less conducive to good order and undivided devotion. We need to practically consider that goal in light of that question. And friends, on one hand, marriage is a glorious thing that beautifully portrays the gospel. Right? And child rearing is a wonderful ministry with eternal significance. And God uses all of that in tremendous ways to sanctify you and grow you in maturity. Right? So marriage could well be the way to serve the Lord at full capacity for you. I don't think Paul is denying that in any way. But on the other hand, and I think what Paul is stressing here, is that married people just don't have the same time to invest in their personal spiritual growth or in direct gospel ministry. I mean, their interests are just necessarily divided. To borrow an example from Keith, which is more spiritually important, leading Bible studies or changing diapers? You know, at first, you know, you become a Christian, you're like, well, obviously leading Bible studies. And then you sort of become more theologically educated. And we realize, you know, no, there's not this divide between the sacred and the secular, right? Everything we do should be worship. Everything we do should be for the Lord, right? And so I can glorify God in every aspect of life, and that is good and right, and it is so important that we emphasize that on one hand. But I think at the same time, we should not lose sight of the fact that there is something more directly connected with our mission and with our sort of investment of time on earth to be able to leading Bible studies. Being free to do that is significant. There's a certain sense in which that is more important. And I think that's the kind of thing Paul's getting at here. For example, we have had men who were otherwise qualified, but they have had to decline to serve as elders or deacons because of their season of life. I mean, they just have young children. They don't have the time available. Or there may be other members or parents who would love to be sort of more directly involved in the Southwood ministry. But again, it's just hard to be out in evenings, and they've got kids to take care of it. It's practically limiting. There are also men or women who would love to be serving or involved in various ways, but their spouse is needy, or their spouse is less enthusiastic about serving in that capacity, and they need to be sensitive to that. That is sort of a limitation in ministry. And just generically, I mean, if you're the head of a household, every decision you make is complicated by the need to concern yourself with the needs and desires of every other member of your family. You are not as free to just choose what you want, what you think is best, sort of as you can see it. You have to take all these other things into account. And I think all these people are being perfectly faithful. They are honoring and glorifying God. It's just that life circumstances create practical limitation. And in contrast to all of that, the single person is amazingly free and flexible to serve and invest in gospel work. and in their own personal sanctification. Just at sermon prep, there was a father that joined us and he shared from his heart about how much he wishes that when he was single, before he had a number of young kids, he had invested more time in studying the Bible and in his own spiritual growth. He's just more limited now. I can think of conversations I've had with homeschooling moms that they just, look forward for months to that one Saturday that they have a cleared schedule and they can get away with their Bible and they can pray and spend time with Jesus. And singles, are we using our time well? I mean, look what Paul just assumes here. You know, the single person is anxious about the things of the Lord. How to please the Lord. how to be holy in body and spirit. I mean, friends, if we wanna just set aside a Saturday all day to just seek the Lord, how easily we can do it. You know, if you wanna be involved in some sort of evangelistic ministry five nights a week, I mean, how easily you can do it. There's this wonderful freedom, flexibility, and simplicity to the Christian life as a single person. And Paul is just seeking to commend that. He's saying this is the goal. And have you considered how well singleness positions you to fulfill that goal, how simple it is? He's not saying it's impossible as a married person, he's just saying it's a lot harder, it's more complicated. Look at the advantages of singleness and consider if that would be right for you. And friends, that brings us to the third and final point as we make this decision, and that is we need godly discernment. We need to have the proper perspective, and then we need to set the right goal, but then to figure out what is right for me, we need godly discernment. And that's verses 36. I just want to look especially at verses 36 through 38. And as we read this, I want you to notice Paul's pastoral and situational sensitivity. He writes, if anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, or that that word, strangely enough, can also be translated, or she is past the flower for youth. So it could go either way. And he says, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes. Let them marry. It is no sin. but whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity, but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart to keep her as his betrothed." And I think that's just a funny way of saying not going forward with the marriage. They're sort of, you know, breaking off the engagement, not marrying. He says, he will do well. So then, he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. So in verse 36, Paul turns to the person who wants to marry, and he acknowledges several perfectly legitimate reasons they may choose to do so. Maybe he feels like breaking off the engagement would be improper. Maybe he has in mind, I made a commitment, I should keep it. Maybe his passions are strong, and he's worried that I might burn with passion if I choose to stay single. Paul acknowledges that. Or maybe he's concerned for her and she's reached the flower of her youth or she's getting older and he doesn't want to leave her high and dry. That could be another reason. Or maybe, Paul says, it simply has to be. I think that's just referring to any number of other constraining circumstances. Paul's recognizing there could be all sorts of reasons that you just feel like it's right. Then he encourages them, Mary, it is no sin. And then in verse 37, Paul turns to the person who's thinking of not marrying. And he, first, he strongly emphasizes here that that person must have that settled conviction in his own heart. Not something that's being, they're being pressured into or arm-twisted into. It has to be something they want to do. And then he also says that person needs to have his desire under control. And in that case, Paul says, if you don't marry, you will do well. And what I want you to notice here is that Paul doesn't just indiscriminately impose the remain as you are principle on everyone. I mean, he's taking all sorts of situational factors into account, and even as he gives advice, he at the same time is being very clear that it's just that, it's advice, it's your decision to make. And I think this shows us how much we need godly discernment in this area. We need to start from that proper perspective and we need to set the right goal, but then we need situational discretion to decide what's best for us. And in that vein, I want to share just one particular piece of advice today. Now, of course, you should pray. Of course, you should seek counsel from other believers. And of course, you should read passages in the Bible about marriage and singleness. But the advice I'm going to give you is probably going to sound less spiritual than any of that. And when it comes to marriage and singleness, I think you should probably pursue whichever one you want. You should probably pursue whichever one you want. Or, let me say that with a little more nuance, there are selfish reasons for getting married, and there are selfish reasons for staying single. But getting married or staying single because you want to isn't necessarily selfish. Your desires are an important aspect of discerning God's will in this area. Selfish reasons for getting married, there's selfish reasons for staying single, but getting married or staying single because you want to isn't necessarily selfish. Your desires are an important aspect of discerning God's will in this area. We've already seen earlier in the chapter how sexual desire can be a factor that determines whether or not marriage is best for you. And I think the way Paul reasons through that issue here should show us that other desires matter too. Maybe you just yearn for the joys of motherhood or fatherhood. Or the comfort and companionship and the security of a spouse. Friend, those are good, God-given desires as well. And I don't think they are meant to be simply suppressed. In fact, I think if you do that, you may actually wind up being distracted from undivided devotion to the Lord. So my counsel is, if you're single, think much about the fact that the form of this present world is passing away. That your goal is to serve Christ at full capacity and with undivided devotion. and give yourself to studying God's Word, to prayer, to ministry, and to being as involved as you can in the church. Because if you're not doing those things, you may yearn for marriage just because you fail to appreciate how good and satisfying and important and valuable singleness really is. Or, if you're not doing those things, you may want to stay single just for selfish reasons. Because you're trying to shirk responsibility and so on. So do those things, and then if you are doing those things, and that yearning to marriage is strong, and then you have the opportunity, take it. And friend, I think you can take that opportunity as a great indication that that's God's will for your life. And you can receive that gift with confidence. But on the other hand, as you do those things, you may find that as good as marriage is, you would still rather not, at least for now, trade in your singleness. And friend, I think this text encourages you to stand firm there, if that's the case for you. Right, if God has given you that desire to stay single, then friend, at the very least for you, I think Paul's saying you do better. And you know, at the end of the day, as we come to verse 38, right, I think the question we're tempted to ask is, well, is Paul saying that the gift of singleness is preferable or better than the gift of marriage? You know, and actually in verse, chapter 14, Paul will later kind of say that of the gift of prophecy versus tongues. He'll say he who prophesies is greater than he who speaks in tongues. But, or we say, or is Paul just saying that the gift of singleness is situationally better in Corinth? You know, which is it? And we are so tempted to focus on that, but you know what? I just don't think it really matters if we know. Right, because what we can say with confidence is that either way, marriage is better for some people, and singleness is better for others, and what really matters for us is having the discernment to decide which is better for you. And friends, in an evangelical culture that so often emphasizes the goodness of marriage, I think this is a wonderful challenge to us to consider the goodness of singleness as well. So whether you're married or single, let's be grateful that God gifts some for singleness. And let's encourage those who are single in their calling, and singles, Serve the Lord with undivided devotion in all the freedom and flexibility your singleness provides. Amen. Let's pray.