Gossip - 1 Timothy 5:13

love keeps no record of wrongs

, 1 Corinthians 13,

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.

Then we can't gossip, because gossip is doing none of those things. Gossip doesn't cover a multitude of sins, it reveals them. Gossip is keeping a record of wrongs, which we're told we oughtn't do. And it delights in evil and infirmity, which again, is not fitting for a Christian. And so for me, I think this is where the gossip is most tempting to me. It's not that I like to share it, it's that I sometimes like to hear it. So as a professor, I frequently hear students moaning about some professor. So poor professor such and such. Oh, class is too hard. He can't teach. He never does anything. True story for me, he's too slow grading. And you know, you don't just hear it from students either. You hear it from your colleagues too. It's like, oh, I can't believe Professor such and such. Why is he on that committee? He's such a loud mouth. Stuff like that. And I think the temptation there is that it makes you feel good because you can compare yourself to your fellows and their worst infirmities and make yourself feel good in comparison, at least in comparison with Professor such and such. But you know they're saying the same things about you too. You just haven't heard it yet. And so that's the temptation where I feel it most strongly is in trying to enjoy feeling slightly better than this other professor. But again, that's not a good thing at all. So what is it that we can do better? Well, one thing that I think would be helpful to have in the back of our minds as we think about speech is what our forefathers in the faith have said about speech. So if you've never had the chance to read the Westminster Larger Catechism, it's actually a pretty interesting document. Now, Keith will be glad to know I'm not going to read the whole thing, but I will. Let me excerpt a couple of bits. So specifically, Question and answer 144 and 145 really deal with the duties and the sins forbidden by the ninth commandment,

thou shalt not lie

. It's quite long, as you'd expect for Puritans, but let me read a couple of bits. So what are we supposed to do? What is the duty required by the ninth commandment? Well, let me just read a couple of bits.

We should be loving, desiring and rejoicing in the good name of our fellow Christians. We should sorrow for and cover their infirmities. We should readily receive a good report about a fellow Christian. We should be unwilling to admit of an evil report of a fellow Christian. We should discourage tailbearers, flatterers and slanderers.

These are all things that our forefathers in the faith thought were commanded by the ninth commander. I think we should take that pretty seriously. If we look at what are the sins that are forbidden in the ninth commandment, these include

speaking the truth unseasonably

, at the wrong time or for the wrong reason,

or maliciously to the wrong end, aggravating smaller faults

, and also

hiding, excusing, or extenuating sins.

And lastly, let me point out this one,

unnecessary discovery of infirmities.

So these are all things that are involved in gossip. When we're gossiping about fellow Christians, we are doing all of these things. All of these things that our forefathers in the faith thought were expressly forbidden by the ninth commandment. And I should say that the Westminster Lodger Catechism is a catechetical document, so it does what it says on the tin. That means it's there to help you grow in your faith, to become a more mature believer, And so we should note that some of these things are actually kind of cross purposes. So it's both a sin to speak the truth unseasonably, and also to fail to speak the truth in season. So those two things are on the face of it contradictory. And I think what we're supposed to do here is grow in faith, grow in wisdom, grow in knowledge, and realize when we're failing to speak the truth in season, and when we're speaking the truth out of season. That's something that will take a growth in the knowledge of God to do. So there is some tension between those things. We're expected to grow in holiness and to grow in wisdom so we can know when we're speaking the truth in season or when we're speaking it out of season, when we're covering somebody's infirmity, which we should do, or when we're extenuating their sin, which we ought not. So we need to have the wisdom to know which is which when it's time to speak the truth in love and when it's not. So what should we do? I think there remain really three main responses for Christians, or three main circumstances. You are the gossip, you are the gossiped against, or you're gossiped to. So if you're gossiped against, let me say this first, I think the natural tendency here is to fight fire with fire. So maybe you would favor what we might call a robust response where you essentially raise the city to the ground and then salt the land on which it stood. Fairly robust response. But we serve a God whose character is always to show mercy. And also,

the prudent see danger and hides himself, but the simple go on to suffer for it.

So how can we respond to these three situations? Well, if you're the gossip, stop. Your actions are breaking the church and you're harming brothers and sisters and those who receive your gossip too. But we should know that this is a sin and that it can be forgiven when we believe in Jesus Christ. He has paid for all of our sins, both large and small. We shouldn't underestimate the damage that what we might think of as small sin can achieve. So is it gossip that we're spreading? How can we figure it out? Because fundamentally, remember, gossip is a true thing that you're saying about somebody else for bad reasons. Well, is it gossip? Well, would you say such a thing publicly? Or are you relying on an anonymous web app to say these things? Would you say it to their face? Are you ashamed of saying it? Shame is a powerful tool to show you that you're doing something wrong. Our culture is very suspicious of shame, it's very suspicious of guilt. If you want to hear a three-part lecture series on why guilt is a good thing, Lois Westerlund gave one at the Center for Christian Study about 10 years ago and you should go listen to it. Guilt is there to tell you you're wrong, okay, and so you should stop. Are your words loving? What is the motive for what you're saying? Is it to make yourself look good? Is it to make them look bad? What are you doing? And if you are gossiping, it may be that when you realize that this is a problem, this may take time, you may feel compelled to ask for forgiveness from those you hurt. So if this is the case, if you feel compelled to ask for forgiveness from somebody that you've gossiped about, I think you should do it. If you have that conviction of sin, and the conviction that you should go ask for forgiveness, don't quench the Spirit. You should do that. Sometimes we can get obsessed with all kinds of little things, and I think, I would hope that we can show each other grace in these things, but if the Holy Spirit has convicted you that no, you should confess the sin, then you really ought to. Okay, so one last thing to say about that. There are lots of big sins that can sink a church and cause tremendous damage. Abuse, adultery, anger, all of these things can cause enormous trouble in the church. But an accumulation of small sins like gossip can also do enormous damage. There's more than one way to break a fellowship. It doesn't just require what we might call a big sin. So two, what if you're gossiped against? Sometimes this may be a time to cover a multitude of sins. This does require you to forgive the person who's gossiped about you. Keith always describes forgiveness as

a giving up of your right to be angry

, which is a hard thing to do because many of us struggle with giving up that right to be angry about being sinned against. It may require going to the person who's gossiped about you and telling them how this has hurt you and telling them to stop. If you have to do that, please go prepared to grant forgiveness because there aren't many things worse than saying, you've hurt me. Oh, I'm really sorry. Please forgive me. No, that shouldn't be. Note that forgiveness doesn't necessarily require a full restoration of the relationship. As with a liar who you may no longer trust, so you may choose not to confide in somebody who publishes your infirmities and griefs. So lastly, what if you're gossiped to? So this is also a sin. If you receive an evil report, This is also one of the things that we're told that we can infer from the ninth commandment. So how can we deal with this? Well, I think one thing is to turn the conversation away. we could think about whether the things that are being said to you need to be said and what the motivation is. And also I think it's worth thinking about your motivation as well. Because for me, it's tempting to listen in and enjoy professor such and such getting slated by the students. But no, it's time to leave. So our motivation there is also something we should pay attention to. So in closing, I think the key with gossip is to have the wisdom that comes from on high, to know when we're speaking the truth in season and to know when we're speaking the truth out of season. So, I think our prayer should be,

teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

And if we want to overcome gossip, we should grow in holiness, love, and patience. These are the gifts of the Spirit. And if we do so, then may our words be seasoned with light. Thank you. Let me pray in closing. Lord, may we bridle our tongues. and may it be through your spirit. Lord, I pray that you would give us such holiness and love and care for one another that gossip would never spring from our hearts or mouths. Instead, people would see us loving one another and speaking words of truth and care for one another. I pray this in your name, amen.