Spiritual Warfare and Family

Isaiah 5511 says, talking about the the word of God being like the rain, so shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth. It shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish what I please and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. Just reading publicly the word of God. That word will never return void as it is spoken aloud. We had a good time in the retreat this weekend. Our guest was Dr. Andreas Kostenberger. Dr. Kostenberger is a native of Vienna, Austria. He was telling me he has a sister who plays in the Vienna Symphony there. He's also a pianist. I learned that about him. He was converted as a university student. And the Lord's path for him was to take him first to Bible College in Columbia, South Carolina, and then to Trinity Divinity School up in Chicago, where he studied under D.A. Carson. And then he's taught. several places for the last 10 years. He's been at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina, and he's an interesting one. We don't have too many Austrian Southern Baptists, but I think he might pretty much have a handle on that percentage. He speaks, writes widely. A book that we're going to have on the book table that some people I know got on the retreat is one on God, marriage, and family that's from, I think, out in 2004 from Crossway. And it's certainly a book that's worth reading. But he's also here with his family. His wife, Marnie, was with us on the retreat. And his children, four children are here with us. And so we're going to have Dr. Kossenberger come and read the Word of God for us and then speak to us from God's Word. So we welcome you. Good morning. It's wonderful to be with you and my wife and children and I fell in love with your close knit and loving church family at the retreat. So let's stand together for the reading of God's living and active word. Ephesians chapter 6 and verses 10 through 18. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground and after you've done everything, to stand. Stand firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation, And the sort of a spirit, which is the word of God and praying the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people may be seated. What I'm going to do this morning is I'm going to talk about marriage and the family and spiritual warfare and the glory of God. But before we settle on Ephesians 6 as our passage for today, I'm going to survey the biblical teaching on war and peace, especially on the latter. And we provided you with a bulletin insert in your bulletins. Does anyone still need this insert? Hopefully that will help you to follow along a little more readily. In War and Peace, one of the longest novels ever written, Leo Tolstoy describes the efforts of Napoleon's invasion of Moscow in 1812 on the ordinary lives of the Russian people. He shows how his history rolls on like a gigantic tidal wave. Everything is swept up in its wake. Specifically, the French-Russian War of 1812 left many dead on both sides, and after five fatal weeks, the French retreat from a self-destructive mission and limp back toward Paris, while the Russians are left to lick their wounds and pick up the pieces after a devastating war. War and peace is a study of human nature of epic proportions. Who knows whether we will be swept up in war sometime soon or whether we will be able to live in peace. Are we able to control our circumstances? Are we not all engaged in small wars of our own with our spouses, with our neighbors, with our superiors, with our children trying to make peace, but all too often failing to escape our own inner demons and selfishness that voids our own best intentions. As we fast forward to our own day, almost 150 years after Tolstoy wrote his novel, much has changed and yet much has remained the same. In Russia, people have seen the fall of the Tsar and the Communist Revolution of 1917. After Lenin came Stalin and World War II, and still more recently, Gorbachev and the fall of the Iron Curtain. and the breakup of the old Soviet Union, and then Yeltsin, and now Putin. The Industrial Revolution transformed our economies, and the technological revolution continues to transform our lives. Yet, there are still wars in this world. In fact, the 20th century, the century after war and peace was written, was one of the bloodiest of all history. More recently, we invaded Afghanistan and went to war in Iraq. Surely, the human condition is such that war, rather than peace, is our natural condition, and peace, more often than not, means little more than the temporary cessation of hostilities. As you've seen in the book of Judges, which I understand you're studying right now. In such times of temporary peace, optimists arise who think at last peace has come to stay. But then the cycle of war and peace continues for another generation. Are we forever caught up in this tidal wave of war and peace then? Who will save us from this wretched condition? With Paul, we say, thanks be to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Jesus Christ, who is our peace, according to Ephesians 2.14 and many other passages in both testaments. In Jesus, as the Bible tells us, we have been reconciled to our creator and to each other. And in Him, after all the strife and suffering we endured that comes from selfishness and pride and rebellion, we are once again able to live with each other in peace. Now what does the Bible say about peace in the life of the Christian? What I want us to do in the next few minutes is to take a brief look and survey what the New Testament has to say about true peace for the Christian. In Matthew 10, verse 34, Jesus is quoted as saying, Don't suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. I believe what that teaches us is that Christianity is not pacifism. It does not propagate the notion of peace at all costs. Christianity is not exclusively a religion of peace. Truth of necessity divides, and peace is ultimately possible only among those who are at peace with God. Only if we are at peace with Him, reconciled to Him through Christ, can we be at peace with one another. In Luke 1, verse 79, Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, says the Baptist would guide our feet into the path of peace by proclaiming the arrival of the Messiah. And at the birth of Jesus, the angels proclaim in that famous passage, glory to God in the highest heaven and on earth, peace to those on whom his favor rests. It's later reiterated in Luke chapter 19 verse 38. That is, peace is found ultimately only by those who've trusted in Christ and thus have God's favor resting on them. And then in Luke 19, verse 42, toward the end of his earthly ministry, Jesus laments when he enters Jerusalem to be crucified. And he says, If you had only known on this day what would bring you peace, but now it is hidden from your eyes. Tragically, Jerusalem rejected the one who would bring her peace. And she has been embroiled in war and strife ever since. In John's gospel, we read that Jesus also shortly before the crucifixion told his disciples, Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Don't let your hearts be troubled. And don't be afraid. John 14, 27, and he added, I've told you these things so that in me you may have peace in this world. You will have trouble in this world. You will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world. John 16, 33. And after the resurrection, Jesus greeted his followers repeatedly with the greeting Peace be with you. The phrase that had been given additional meaning through the power of his resurrection. In the book of Acts, Peter proclaimed to Cornelius, the first Gentile convert, the good news of peace through Jesus Christ to his Lord of all. And in many of his letters, you know, grace and peace is the standard greeting. And once again, it's clear that God's grace and peace are mediated through the Lord Jesus Christ and through him alone. In the book of Romans, Paul quotes one of the Psalms as saying regarding the world, Romans 3, 17 through 18, their feet are swift to shed blood, ruin and misery mark their ways and the way of peace they do not know. There's no fear of God before their eyes. And then later on, Paul writes, therefore, since we've been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Romans 5, 1 through 2. Paul goes on to say that the mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. The sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's laws, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God, Romans 8, 6. Just as there may be wars between nations or between individuals, the Bible teaches there's another war going on, a war in our very own selves, in our inner beings, a war, in fact, a desperate struggle in which our sinful nature seeks to retain control over our actions, fighting against our regenerate nature. which pursues Christ and His holiness and righteousness. Now, positionally, we have already won that war through Christ and His death for us on the cross. But actually, and personally, we must still appropriate Christ's victory on our behalf by putting to death the deeds of a sinful nature, by trusting in Christ moment by moment And day by day, just as we did for our salvation, now also for our sanctification and growth in godliness and Christian maturity. So we continue our survey of biblical teaching on peace in the New Testament. Paul's exhortation for the believers in Rome was Romans 12, 18. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. And then in Romans 14 for the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Let us therefore make every effort to do at least to peace and to mutual edification. Again remember Paul can issue this exhortation only on the basis of what he said earlier in the epistles that believers have been justified by faith. Romans 5 1 and therefore if peace with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. As people who have been made right with God and who have peace with Him, they are now able and we are now able to pursue peace with others. Toward the end of Romans, Paul prays, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit, Romans 15, 13. And Paul concludes his letter by saying the God of peace will soon crush Satan. Under your feet, the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Romans 16, 20. This prayer and doxology give us hope that our spiritual warfare against the world, the flesh and the devil will not go on forever. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under his feet. Under our feet, it says. That's great news, isn't it? In Paul's dealings with people in the church, the fact that God is a God of peace is a frequent principle he applies. In 1 Corinthians 7.15, for example, when a new believer is deserted by his unbelieving spouse, Paul says that believers should not try to hold the unbeliever back. For quote God has called us to live in peace. He wants that peace to be preserved. And when the church in Corinth experiences disagreements and disunity with regard to celebrating the Lord's Supper. First Corinthians 14 33 and the exercise of spiritual gifts. Again Paul says that quote God is not a God of disorder but of peace. For this reason, Paul exhorts believers in Corinth, in 2 Corinthians 13, 11, to be of one mind, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. To the Ephesians he writes, make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace, Ephesians 4, 3. To the church in Philippi, he says, and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Whatever you've learned or received or heard from me or seen in me, put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Virtually every church to which Paul writes, he exhorts believers to live with one another in peace on the basis that they have received peace. From God and Jesus Christ in Colossians, Paul states that it was God's will, quote, through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood shed on the cross. Colossians 1, 20. Very similar passage in Ephesians 2, 14 and 15. For this reason, Paul exhorts the Colossians, let the peace of Christ rule in your heart since as members of one body you are called to peace. Colossians 3.15. Very similar passage in 1 Thessalonians 5.13. He writes to those Thessalonians, quoting 1 Thessalonians 5.23, May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. And in the second letter to the same church, he says, Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. Finally, the author of Hebrews exhorts his congregation in very similar terms. He writes in Hebrews 12, 14, Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy. His concluding greeting, still in the book of Hebrews, chapter 13, verses 20 and 21, is as follows, May the God of peace who through the blood of eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will. James writes that peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness, quite apparently echoing Jesus' words in the Sermon on the Mount regarding blessed are the peacemakers at that point. So we see that Jesus claimed to be the bringer of a unique kind of peace, just as he's the Prince of Peace per Isaiah 9.6, a peace the world does not know. And in Paul's theology and in his letters, he starts with Christ's act of making peace for us with God at the cross, his work of reconciliation. And then he applies the benefits of Christ's work to those who have trusted in Christ for salvation. And on the basis of their reconciliation with God, he prays for them to know that peace that passes understanding and to live in peace with other people, both inside and outside the church. We've laid a foundation and we've looked at what the New Testament says about peace in Christ. Let's look and apply our understanding of war and peace specifically to peace in our marriages and families. Personal peace, as we have seen, is rooted in our personal relationship with Jesus Christ. But while peace is first of all a personal possession that every person must be appropriate individually, it does not stop there. Peace in our hearts must necessarily lead us to pursue peace with others. We must become peacemakers, as Jesus said and as James echoed. We must pursue peace with others, as Paul, the author of Hebrews and other New Testament writers agree. These others significantly include our spouse and our children, those in our immediate and extended family, as well as, of course, in God's household, the church. We talked a bit at the retreat the last couple of days of why it is that not every marriage is eternal bliss and succeeds. Why is it that so many marriages do fail as we know? Is it because people are insincere or lack good intentions? I submit to you that nobody standing at the altar plans for their marriage to fail. I think it's more like, as in Jesus' parable of the sower and the soils, what happens is that the thorns and thistles begin to grow and rocky times come and temptations and materialism encroach on the marital relationship. And over time, what started out with high hopes and best intentions too often ends up like the seed sown onto the rocks. But I believe that just as we cannot understand the book of Job apart from the opening two chapters where we learn that it was Satan who accused Job, we cannot understand what happens in our marriages and families apart from the larger scope and context of the spiritual warfare that rages in and through our marriages and families. Having said this, you will look in vain for references to spiritual warfare in virtually all popular and not so popular materials on marriage and family at your local Christian bookstore. It occurs to me there's really an irony in this. We who have been given peace with God in Christ and who as we've seen are called to peace with others are also at the same time called to engage in spiritual warfare with Satan and his forces. As C.S. Lewis famously reminded us, we will ignore Satan at our great peril. How can we fight an enemy of whose existence we're largely unaware and oblivious? When we look at the opening chapters in Genesis, there he is, Satan, the tempter, intruding into the pristine, idyllic relationship between God and the man and the woman and into the relationship of husband and wife. So spiritual warfare has been with married couples from the very beginning. According to Paul in first Timothy two fourteen, what happened in the garden is a complete reversal of relationships rather than God and the man, the woman and Satan. It was Satan tempting the woman, the woman giving to the man with God being left out of the equation. And, of course, the consequences were disastrous. Satan appealed to the woman's senses. She gave in. Adam, though, as Genesis 3, 8 acknowledges, was with her, but he remained passive and humanity fell into sin. Now, moving to the New Testament, what is the most well-known passage in the New Testament on spiritual warfare? It's the one we read at the beginning, Ephesians 6, 10-18. Did it ever occur to you that this passage is found immediately after what also happens to be the most thorough passage on marriage and the family in Ephesians 5, verses 21-64? I believe that is hardly a coincidence. And those of us who were at the retreat last couple of days had the opportunity to study together the way in which Ephesians 5, 21 through 6, 4 is part of the argument of the Ephesian epistle as a whole. And the way I conceive of this message, it's some sort of a continuation of the last couple of days together. So in the few minutes that remain, I want us to do the same with Ephesians 6, 10 through 18, the concluding passage on spiritual warfare in Ephesians. As we've seen that Ephesians, just like we've seen that Ephesians 5 is addressed to the same people who are told to be spirit filled and to put on the new self in Christ earlier in the letter. So let me ask you, who are the people who are told in Ephesians 6 to put on the full armor of God? Well, of course, it is all of us believers, it's husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, boys, girls that are addressed in Ephesians 5 and 6 earlier. As husbands and wives and fathers and mothers, as boys and girls, we must remember that our struggle is ultimately not against flesh and blood. Your and my enemy is not our marriage partner. It's children. It's not your mom or your dad. Satan is the enemy. And so we must band together and put on the spiritual armor of God so we can stand firm against the one who's our true enemy and who attempts us to wage war against each other when God has called us to peace. So what does it mean to put on the whole armor of God in our marriages and families? In the book, Pastor mentioned God, marriage and family. We apply every single piece of God's armor that is mentioned in Ephesians 6, 10 through 18, specifically to our marriage and families. And in the remaining few moments, I want us to look briefly at the seven pieces mentioned in God's armor, starting in Ephesians 6, 14. First piece is the belt of truth buckled around your waist. In our marriages and families, we must be committed to truth. If we look no further than Ephesians, what do we learn about the importance of truth in our marriages and families? In Ephesians 4, 25. Paul says we must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to one another, yet we must speak the truth in love, and hence in all things grow up into him who is the head that is Christ, Ephesians 4.15. In our speech we must make every effort, Ephesians 4.29, not to let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building each other up according to the other person's needs. If your spouse or your child goes wrong, do you tell them? Do I tell them? If not, why not? Are we too busy to take the time to confront and to discipline? If so, do we tell them the truth in love? Or are we insensitive or even hurtful? Truth hurts enough as it is, so let's make sure we confront gently. Then again, if you're on the receiving end of confrontation, I would suggest let's make sure to not object too quickly to the tone or the manner in which we are being confronted while ignoring the substance of the actual rebuke. Is there any truth in it? If so, I think we would be unwise to ignore that rebuke. Secondly, the breastplate of righteousness with the breastplate of righteousness in place. What is righteousness? Well, righteousness is one's right standing with God in and through Jesus Christ, as we've seen Romans 5.1, and also our dealings with God and our fellow human beings with integrity. Psalm 15 comes to mind. Are you and am I dealing righteously and rightly with my spouse and with my children? Am I fair in my discipline? Am I even handed or am I disciplining my children in anger and retribution? Am I bitter and revengeful in my dealings with my spouse? Am I faithful to my marriage partner? Are we honest to each other? All this is part of what it means to be righteous in our marriages and families. Thirdly, with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. As believers, as we've seen, the husband and wife have been given the peace of Christ in the Holy Spirit. We know that we've been eternally forgiven and that we're sons and daughters of God. So being at peace with God, we can't be at peace with each other and act as peacemakers in the world around us. Here's my question and that's addressed to myself as well as to all of us. Do our marriage and our family resemble a war zone more often than not where fighting and arguing are the rule of the day and peace is only the temporary cessation of hostility? And I'm not talking about once in a while or occasionally, but I'm talking almost all the time. Or is our family characterized by the peace of Christ that passes understanding? We don't always have to have the last word or win every argument. It is in our power to stop an argument in its tracks if we only remember that we're called to be peacemakers by the Prince of Peace. Number four, in addition to all this, still quoting from Ephesians 6, 14 following, take up the shield of faith. with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." The flaming arrows of the evil one. It's a great picture. This is true for all believers. Husband and wife must follow the Lord Jesus Christ in discipleship, as we talked about the last couple of days, and learn to trust him to meet all their needs and overcome all challenges and adversity. Our overriding concern should not be material needs, but the extension of God's rule in the world should seek first his kingdom and his righteousness. Faith in God also entails trusting God with our husband or wife and trusting God the Holy Spirit to continue to transform them in their lives. Do you trust and do I trust God with my spouse and with my children? Or do we take it upon ourselves to change them? Are we constantly anxious and worried about how our children will turn out? There's a new book out. and I don't get any royalties for this one, but it's called, it's not written by myself, it's called Mumfidence and Oriole Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happy Parenting. It's written by a lady named Paula Spencer and I don't know her, I overheard a radio interview with her the other day and what she said is that sometimes mothers have a tendency to worry too much. And my wife doesn't agree with that, but I think there may be an element of truth in this. And so what Mrs. Spencer suggests, and I think it's relevant to this topic of faith in God with our children, is she says, how about asking the really important questions about our children? Like, are they still alive? Or, you know, are they basically OK? You know, things like that. There will always be issues to work on. And, you know, but should we really let those, you know, continual concerns rob us of our peace? So let's take up the shield of faith and trust in God. He will work things out. Ultimately, we can't. Number five, take up the helmet of salvation. Because a married couple is secure in their assurance of salvation and their eternal destiny, they can truly love each other unconditionally and selflessly. And that's a wonderful blessing from God that couples where the spouses are not Christians know little about. The husband can provide responsible, loving leadership without abusing his authority, and the wife can trust and submit graciously to God's leading of her through her husband. Salvation is like a helmet. It protects your head against serious injury. Small or even bigger things may go wrong, but the really big thing has already been settled for all eternity. Our relationship with God, our salvation and our eternal destiny is secure in Christ. That's something, too, to keep in mind as we go through our daily struggles. If that's not encouraging, you know, I don't know what is. It's a wonderful, wonderful thing to have eternal security. Number six, take the sword of a spirit, which is the word of God. Because there's no lasting foundation for our lives other than God's word, a married couple must be committed to remain in God's word through a regular personal and joint study of scripture, as well as, of course, faithfully attending the local church where God's word is preached. I realize I'm preaching to the converted at this point since you're all here. But are you studying God's word together as a family and as a married couple? Are you making your decisions based on what God says in his word? big as well as smaller decisions, the committing your ways to the Lord. We can all improve in this area, but we must keep working on this because those things never just happen. We must plan for them and make them happen or other things tend to crowd them out. I'm speaking especially to the fathers and husbands at that point. and seventh and last, and praying the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. Regular joint prayer is essential for marriage partners to, Ephesians 4.3, keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. The adage is true that the family that prays together stays together. Conversely, the family that doesn't pray together very well may not stay together. I've seen more than once where people got so into materialism, into building a new house or an addition to their old house, and before you knew it, they went their separate ways. Because all that held them together was a common material pursuit. And when that was accomplished, there was a void and nothing left that held the marriage together. The husband and wife ought to make a habit of bringing their thanksgiving and requests before God and trust him to act on their behalf. Philippians 4, 6 and 7. There may even be times when a couple may want to spend a concerted time in prayer when important decisions need to be made. 1 Corinthians 7.5. In conclusion, my topic today has been marriage and family, spiritual warfare, and the glory of God. What a combination. It may seem at first it's an unusual combination, but I believe that too often we don't consider the second and the third elements in our marriages and families we don't realize that our marriages and families take place in an environment of spiritual warfare. It's not just a matter of good intentions. It's a matter of realizing that war and peace in our marriages and our families are inescapable reality. Realize it or not we are called to put on the whole armor of God. And we are called to put on the whole armor of God, not just as individual believers, but specifically in our relationships with other people, including our marriage partner and our children. You've heard the story about the Japanese soldier who was discovered decades after the end of World War II in the jungles of Japan, still wearing his battle gear. Nobody had told him that the war had ended. He thought he was still fighting in World War II when in fact Japan had made peace decades ago. I'll submit to you that the opposite danger exists as well. Some of us are living as if we lived in times of peace when in fact a battle is raging all around us and in fact within us. Will we be victorious in this battle if we fail to put on the full armor of God or if we only put on parts of the armor? If we only protect our back, but not our head, our head, but not our chest. Let's close with the words of the Apostle Paul from Ephesians 6, 10 through 13, and let us make sure to put into practice what the word of God says and our marriages and families will be strong. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground and after you've done everything, to stand.