God's Design for the Family

This week I read an article by a Christian professor. I won't tell you his name or where he's a professor at. He is a professor at what I once felt was a conservative evangelical school. The article is arguing that the Bible really doesn't have family values. Your reaction is same as mine. I actually didn't laugh at first. Anger boiled to begin with because I Well, he went to the typical text. His argument was, let's walk through all the texts that are typically read at a wedding. And then he kind of walked through and said, this really is about marriage and this isn't really about marriage. And he said, maybe Genesis 2. How about maybe? The entire Bible is built on the structure as the family, as a fabric of society that God instituted the family. And it's just assumed. Now, obviously, this article is coming out in light of the controversy over if the government should legalize gay marriage. And he's trying to tell Christians, as a Christian professor of theology, calm down. The Bible actually doesn't speak that clearly on the issue. Well, that's just astounding. But that shows you where we are. Every generation, there's a new line drawn in the sand, and it says, are you going to be faithful to Scripture, or are you going to be faithful to the culture? Every generation has a new battle, and this is our generation's battle. We're actually discussing a passage that talks about the last generation battle where the lines already been drawn and sides are pretty much clear, and that is the role of men and women in the home. Is there a difference in distinction and role? Our message this morning comes from Colossians chapter 3 verses 18 through 21. The message is this, we are called to glorify God in our relationships. We are called to glorify God in our relationships, and really the focus here is in our families. We're talking about husbands and wives, parents and children. Let me read the text. Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives. Let me read that again. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Well, each verse is going to be a point of the sermon. We're going to discuss wives and what it means to submit. Husbands, what it means to love. Children, what it means to obey. And fathers, how to not provoke your children, how to train them properly. Now, the context of this is that Paul's already exalted Christ. He is our confident Savior. He is the one who we must have confidence in. He is our certain Savior who has given us a sure foundation, a sure standing with God. He is the head of the church. Now, then in chapter three, he says, put your mind on the things above. Set your mind in where you have confidence in Christ. Put off sin, put on the garments of the soul, and now he begins to address the relationships. We must live out the commands of Scripture in our relationships. And I want you to notice he starts with the most important relationship that is our marriage. Your spouse is your most important relationship. It's easy to get distracted and think your children are your most important relationship. Your spouse is your most important relationship. So they talk about husbands and wives, children. I first wanted to say if you're single this morning, don't check out. Don't don't dismiss the sermon. I think you can listen to this sermon. I think you can meditate on this text with us and be benefited. First, I pray that you would be able to meditate upon this text and see the glory and the beauty of God's design. He has designed us to relate to one another in a special way, and I pray that you'll be able to appreciate that particular design. Secondly, I hope this would help you better pray for and care for the married families in the church. I hope this helps you understand how to better pray for us and care for us. Most of all, I hope this helps you have a better appreciation for Christ and his bridegroom. Christ the bridegroom and his bride. I hope this helps you understand and appreciate your role as the church who is pursued and loved by Christ. If you're married. The temptation as you walk through this is to think to yourself, well, my spouse doesn't do that. Be on guard against that. Wives, be on guard against thinking, well, my husband doesn't love me. Husbands, be on guard against saying to yourself, well, my wife doesn't submit to me. As you are listening to the other spouse's command in scripture. Be thinking about how you can help her or him. Don't be on guard against thinking how much they fail. Be focused on how you can help them. Be thinking about how you can pray for them and help them in their divine role. Husbands, your focus needs to be on how you can help better lead your wife to submit to you. And wives, you need to be focused on how you can better submit to your husband as he loves you. Again, I mentioned this a couple of sermons ago, the bar of faithfulness is not your pastor. I'm particularly convicted that I studied this, that I'm going to set the bar higher than my practice because I'm going to hopefully present to you what Scripture teaches, not what I've accomplished. Let's begin with the big picture. What is marriage? Genesis two and three, we can go ahead and flip to the beginning of our Bibles. This is the foundation of family and relationships. God set forth the family at the very beginning. Now I'm just going to list a few observations from our text. In Genesis, we see that God created man first. He created man from the dust, he breathed life into his nostrils, his mouth. God created man first. And Paul argues that from God creating man first, that man has first in the order. This is from 1 Timothy 2.13. Secondly, God did not think it was good for man to be alone. Genesis 2.18. God looked and he said, it's not good for a man to be alone. Man, we're not islands. God didn't declare creation the day six good until the woman was created. We're not good alone. We need help. Doesn't say the wife needs help. It doesn't say the woman needs help. We needed help. Third, God made both man and woman in his image. We can see this in Genesis 127. There's equality in dignity. We are both made in the image of God, male and female. There is no distinction in dignity. There is no distinction in our human nature. There is no greater dignity between the man and the woman. There's only distinction in role. Fourth, God made woman from man. He took out the rib of Adam and formed woman. First, this shows us that there's a specific union between a man and a woman, a husband and a wife. There's a unique, intimate relationship between a husband and a wife. Adam's follow-up from this happening was that she is flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone. There's a union that is very unique. Secondly, it signifies that there is a difference in responsibilities and roles. We can see Paul making this conclusion from 1 Corinthians 11 and 8. But the very beginning creation. Both man and woman, both husband and wife, they were equal in dignity. They are there, they are sacred beings, both together. And even before special, we need to see before the fall. Adam was set up to be the leader of the home and Eve was set up to be the submissive wife. So what happened? Genesis 3. Sin creeps in. Satan tempts Eve. And it's interesting. He goes to the woman. This is already undermining God's design. He goes to the woman first, attempting already to undermine the design. And she takes the apple. She hands it to her husband, who's there watching. He's supposed to be guarding her, he's supposed to be protecting her, but instead he lets her do it to see what happens. Then God gives this curse in response to the fall. I will surely multiply your pain and childbearing and pain you shall bring forth children. To Eve, he says, your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you. Part of the curse is destroying that proper order and design that God gave to marriage. Your desire shall be for your husband. Now, if you want to know what the word desire means, it's actually a very unique word. Just flip over to chapter four, verse seven. God tells Cain sin is crouching at your door, its desire is for you. Desire isn't a love desire, a desire is a conquering desire. This is an evil desire. This is not a good desire here. The curse is. The tendency of women, the sinful tendency of women is to overthrow their husband, to conquer them, to rule over them. Man's sinful tendency is to rule over the wife. Now, this isn't godly leadership. There's godly leadership that leads. This is iron-fisted rule. Actually, there's two real tendencies, sinful tendencies in men. One is to try to claim leadership. with unnecessary force, with abuse. The second one is to just quit trying to let the woman lead and to give up ruling altogether. We're called to follow the faithful pattern of God. God has set up the man to lead the home, to love his wife as Christ has loved the church. We need to seek to renew this relationship in our fallen world. It means we fight against our sinful tendency. It means we try to put God's order into practice within our own families. Let us begin, as Paul begins, by looking to wives. Verse 18. Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Men, you're being guarded. against thinking of how your wife fails you, you are to be thinking of how you can help and care for your wife to be a submissive wife. Let's first look to the fact that women here are being called to submit and that this in no way implies inferiority. The woman is in no way inferior to the man. That's why I walk through Genesis first, Genesis 1, 27. There are both men in the image of God. They are equal in dignity. There is a distinction in duty. There is no distinction in dignity. That needs to be crystal clear for whatever I say afterwards in terms of distinction and role. Please do not forget that there is no distinction in dignity. So when Paul says, wives submit to your husbands, He's not saying the wife is inferior in dignity or in nature. He's saying that submission is just a role one has in this relationship. Secondly, one of the main parts of this passage, one of the main aspects of this passage is that it's protective. This passage is protecting the wife. We can go to Ephesians and it says it even more clearly. Submit to your own husbands. This is actually a protection for wives not to have to submit to every man. In Greek, so many Greek and Roman cultures, women had to submit to any man who said anything. But here, Paul is protecting the wife. The only man you have to submit to is your husband. It's a protection. This is why, well, on Wednesday night, when I first asked Ashley, would you play a song? And I said, wait a second, Paul, is it OK for me to ask Ashley to play a song? Now, Ashley is very competent to make the decision if she can play the song or not. But I wanted to encourage them. I wanted to encourage Paul and his leadership. I wanted to encourage them to be scriptural. She doesn't need to submit to me in that kind of a role. I want Paul to have that kind of a leadership over her. That kind of love. It's a protection. You do not have to submit to every man. You have to submit to your husband. Third, Christianity elevated women over against the Greco-Roman culture. Now, this is going to get a little nerdy, but bear with me. The Greek word for uterus is hysterect, hysterecti. That's where we get the word hysteria from. That's how the Greeks viewed women. The word that we would describe someone who is imbalanced and emotionally unstable, that was the way we get this word from the Greek word uterus. The culture that the Bible is written in saw women as inferior in dignity and status. Paul is elevating women. The Bible protects women from this kind of view. The Greek and Roman world saw women as secondary citizens, as second class. The Bible, it exalts women. It's really amazing how Christ surrounded himself with women. The first eyewitnesses of the resurrection They were women. The Bible exalts women. It. It has a design, it has a clear role for women, but it exalts women over against the culture. We need to make sure that we recognize that the God's word over against most other cultures today, we have a unique feminist movement, but over against most cultures throughout all time, the Bible exalts women in their status. We recognize that there is a dignity for women and a specific role for women. Oftentimes people, they don't understand those two parts. There is equality and dignity, distinction and role. There's a certain group that I'll just call knuckleheads. Typically men, and they want to say that the distinction of role means a distinction in quality. Some people want to say that because there's a distinction of role, then that means they're inferior. And that means I can abuse them anyway. I won't. That is sinful. It is denying the balance that must be struck between a distinction and role in equality and dignity. Really, the more prominent position today is what we call egalitarians. All things are equal. Yes, at the foot of all things are equal. There is no Jew. There is no Gentile. There is no male. There's no female. There's no Servant, there is no Lord. Because all are equal in Christ, but then there is a distinction. We have that equal dignity, but there's a distinction. Egalitarians want to say that any time there's a distinction in role, then that means there's a distinction in dignity. That is, does it logically follow? The key here is, are we going to let the changes in culture determine what Scripture says? If God's word says women submit, wives submit to your own husbands, are we going to say, no, that was not appropriate because our culture has told us it's not? Fourth, submission is seen in our culture as a posture and disposition to be avoided. We need to be ruling ourselves and everyone around us in this world. Our culture says submission is something to be avoided, whereas God's Word actually says submission is something glorious. Submitting to one another is what the entire church is called to do. Submitting to one another is exemplified most perfectly by our Savior, Jesus Christ. The Eternal Son submits himself to the Eternal Father. As I saw on a couple of Wednesday nights ago, John 5, whatever I see the father doing, that's what I'm going to do, whatever I hear the father saying, that's what I'm going to say. He submits himself. Submission isn't something negative. It's not going to be avoided. It's something glorious that is even modeled in the Trinity. Even more than that, Christ submitted himself not just to the father. He submitted himself to a form lower than his right dignity. He submitted himself to become a man. God himself took on a human nature. He submitted himself to take on a lower form. And then he submitted himself to die as if a sinner. Christ is the model of submission as our glorious savior. The thing about submission, we need to realize it's not a negative thing. It's appropriate in God's design. Fifth, our marriages are meant to reflect the relationship Christ has with the church. We see this most specifically in the Ephesians passage chapter five. Wives submit to your own husbands, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Not only do we see the role established in creation, the roles are established in the very plan of salvation. Paul is making a clear communication, there's a clear analogy, as Christ is the head of the church, so is the man head of the household, head of his wife. So wives, you're called to submit. It's God's design. It's God's order. It's God's good plan that needs to be remembered and redeemed. So how do you submit? How do you submit? Well, first, you need to actively place yourself under your husband. Actively and intentionally lift your husband up, exalting him. He is your equal in dignity. He may even be inferior to you intellectually, physically, spiritually. That's one of the great temptations when you look at your husband and say, well, how can I submit to him? I am superior to him intellectually, physically, spiritually. It doesn't matter. God is ordained and declared. a proper order for the well-being of the family. You can look to 1st Timothy 2.13, where Paul bases this in the fact that man was created first. 1st Corinthians 11.8, where a woman was taken from the rib of man. It's the design of the plan of salvation. Being superior to your husband because God has gifted you with a greater mind, a greater heart, a greater strength. That is not an excuse to not submit. God's word has ordained this as good. God has given him the responsibility to lead and direct the family. He needs you to support his authority. He needs you to respect him. To support him and to lift him up so that he can fulfill his role. Now. You. Can pay the bills. You can do all the work that the family needs. Ignore this passage and the family will run. You can probably make the family run on your own. But will that create tension? Will that be a model of the Gospel for your children and for your neighbors? Will you truly be glorifying God and honoring God in the way He has called you to? If you are able to do it, that doesn't mean you are supposed to do it. It really comes down to this, do you trust God's word? I look around, I see a lot of capable women. Do you trust God's word or do you trust the gifts of God that he's given you? We really need to ask ourselves, do we trust God's word and it's good design? Or do we trust what our culture says that if I can do it, I should do it? You should seek to respect, submit, and help your husband out of a love for Jesus. If you love your savior, this is his command. This is his design. This is the way that you can glorify him. So continue to meditate upon what it means to submit. It means you need to actively respect him. You need to actively allow him to lead. I'm trying to think, what are you going to think of when I'm saying these things? I assume women are going to say, but you have no idea what kind of a sinner I'm married to. To submit to him? To respect him? Do you know what he does and what he says? Paul is writing this to a fallen world. Paul is writing these commands to Colossae. It's a fallen world. He's assuming that your husband's a sinner. It doesn't change the roles. It doesn't change the commands. You need to respect him. That's what a man needs above all else. I'll say it for all those men who don't want to admit that. That's what a man needs above everything else. Respect. To hear respectful words. To be treated with respect. To be looked up upon. And if the wife is not respecting him, who is? You need to speak to his strengths. That doesn't mean lie to him. Don't tell him he's good at something he's not. You need to speak to his strengths. He's going to hear about his weaknesses all over town. When he comes home, it needs to be a place where he's respected, where what he's good at is actually spoken of and he hears respectful compliments. When he acts to lead, Support him. When he actually builds up the courage to try to lead, support him as much as you can. When he's not leading, encourage him to lead. When he fails, support him, respect him and love him. So what happens when the wife is being abused, what what happens to this passage? when the wife is being abused. I ask this question because I was actually part of a panel once and we were talking about gender roles and what we had a feminist contributor to the panel and we talked about how really the Bible elevates women. It exalts women above most other cultures. And her response to us saying the woman is elevated said yeah it just sounds like you're going to drag her by the hair to get up on the podium. I thought, well, that's this blatant disrespect for everything we've said. But I do see a world where a sinful husband could say you need to submit to me while abusing her. This is perverse. Let me talk to the husbands. It is perverse to abuse your wife, claiming this passage as your rationale. She's supposed to submit to you in all things. No, it says submit as fitting in the Lord. You're supposed to protect her. This passage is there to protect her. To use this passage as an example or as an opportunity to abuse her is perverse and corrupt. But if you're being abused, this is where the church needs to come in. Come talk to us and let us protect you. There is a clear parameter for what it means to submit to your husband as is fitting in the Lord. This means that when you submit, you are doing it according to his word and for his glory. You are doing it according to what is proper in the Lord. That means submitting to abuse. That is not proper in the Lord. What is proper is to respect him. To let him lead you, to let him guide you, to trust God's design and God's good order. Women, you can begin praying and caring for your husbands now. Husbands, we can start listening. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Paul calls on the husband now. When Paul calls on one part of the relationship, he always calls on the other. Wives, husbands. Children, fathers. Love your wives. This is a loaded term. What does it mean to love? Love is volitional, not emotional. Love is choosing. Love is intentional. You don't fall in love. It's not a hole in the ground. If anything, it's a mountain. To love someone is to intentionally have to take step by step up. It means intention. It means focus. Real love requires hard work. Real love requires a focus and attentiveness. As we think more about the fact that it's a mountain and not a hole, as you continue to climb that mountain, the view gets more and more glorious. It's not easy. It requires perseverance, consistency and sacrifice. To love your wife is to intentionally seek her good above your own. Christ is our model. Christ sacrificed everything, his life and his death, for his bride, the church. If we were to love our wives, we were to intentionally seek her good above our own. To love our wife is to commit to her, her well-being and her happiness. To love our wife is to pursue her, prioritizing her interests. To love our wife is to prioritize her interests. When youthful boys pursue girls, It is prioritizing the boy's interest. Young ladies hear that. When a youthful boy is pursuing you is to prioritize his interests. When a Christian man pursues a woman, it is to prioritize her interests. And when we make our vows and we were married, we've said in sickness and in health and richer and poor. We had no idea what we were saying. I was thinking, get on with it before she changes her mind. But we have that romantic notion. We have no idea what we're saying there. Because love gets difficult. When you're saying those words, you're making this commitment, you kind of have this pie in the sky, a nice suburban home with a white picket fence and children all dressed normal and having fun and playing. But the reality is life gets difficult. It never it becomes a burden and a trial to intentionally focus your love on your wife. So when difficulties come, that's when your love needs to be determined. Difficulties come. That's why your love must be determined, you cannot think you're going to constantly falling in love, you must constantly be putting your heart Your affection on her. The high calling of a Christian man is to love his wife as Christ loved his church. I want to think about four ways we can define love according to Christ's love. A husband protects. A husband provides. A husband cares. And a husband sacrifices. A husband protects. A husband provides, a husband cares, a husband sacrifices. First, a husband protects his wife. To love your wife means to protect your wife. First, kind of the macho one, from violence. This is the one we think of, yeah, that'd be great. Somebody attacks my wife, I can prove my love to her. This is the movie love. You want to protect her from violence. When we think of most, we really don't live in village warfare anymore. You know, the suburb next door isn't going to come and try to attack your wife. But you do need to be prepared to protect your wife from violence. Secondly, you need to protect your wife from herself. Protect your wife from herself. From being over-committed. Taking on too much responsibility. Oftentimes, you need to protect her from not having a proper perspective in the midst of suffering. You need to know when she's struggling, know the clues as to when she's in despair. You need to make sure you are preaching the gospel to her regularly. You need to protect her from losing perspective. Especially when it comes to having a proper view of herself. Protect your wife from not realizing how beautiful she is. That means regular compliments. You need to protect your wife from the children. Children oftentimes will be more aggressively sinful towards the mom. It's your job to protect your wife from the children. That means you come alongside and you teach them respect. You teach them to respect women. You teach them to respect their mother. Now, this is very important. Your actions towards your wife have to match your words about her. They're going to learn more about respecting your wife, their mother, by the way you respect her and what you teach them. If your children are disrespectful towards your wife, you need to think and ask yourself, is that because I'm not showing her proper respect? You need to protect your wife from others, other's expectations, other people putting expectations that aren't helpful on your wife, from others who may want to hurt your wife by saying things that aren't helpful and that are hurtful. Finally, we need to protect our wives from Satan. We need to protect our wives from the evil. We need to protect our wives spiritually. We realize that we do not have the power to protect them, so we need to be praying constantly for them. A husband protects. Secondly, a husband provides. A husband provides. First, we can think of physical needs. A husband needs to provide the physical necessities of the home. Now that doesn't mean, I don't believe a husband has to be the primary breadwinner. The husband is just the one who is responsible to make sure food is on the table, kids are clothed, shelter is provided. If your wife is the primary breadwinner and she loses her job, you need to start learning how to flip burgers somewhere or find a job as quickly as possible. It is your responsibility, no matter what the situation is, to make sure that the physical well-being of the family is provided. It's oftentimes leaders having to ask for help. It means you need to be humble. A husband needs to provide stability. This is one of the greatest provisions the home needs. Stability. Are you consistent when you come home? Let's put that another way. Are you consistently peaceful and joyful when you come home? Is there a stability in the home that you are providing with godly, prayerful leadership? Third, a husband must care for his wife and. I believe that the key word here that I want to just put into your mind for this is responsibility. You have been given an authority. She's submitting to you. You've been given an authority and without authority you're supposed to exalt her and lift her up and love her. Put her above yourself. That's a beautiful picture of the gospel marriage. She's submitting to you and by her submitting to you, you're supposed to be lifting her up higher. As Christ lifted up the church. You're responsible for her. God's given you an authority over her. See that as a responsibility. It's a stewardship. Her spiritual, emotional and physical beauty is your responsibility. Her well-being is in your hands. It's a calling that God has given you. This is a calling you're going to have to give an account. Husbands. When you have to stand before God, you will have to give an account for everything you did and caring or not caring for your wife. We often have to think of the passage in scripture where it talks about Paul getting before God and saying, well done, good and faithful servant. That's the word I want to hear. That's the word we should want to hear first and foremost in our marriage. Husbands, are you being faithful? It's a mission because her spiritual well-being is our responsibility. We must be proactive in doing this because the sinful tendency is to be neglectful. To get busy, to assume things are well. It's so easy to abandon our wife's interests with other interests. That's why it must be intentional. You don't fall in love, you intentionally love. Finally, the last aspect, sacrificial. The last aspect of love. You lay down your life for your wife. That's Christ. did for the church. He is the model. He is the picture of husband love. Loving her must be the driving force of your leadership. If not, you're a tyrant. Loving her as Christ loved the church must be the way you lead. If you have a hard time sacrificing. You need to think about the gospel. You need to think about how Christ sacrificed himself for the church. You need to make sure your mind is being transformed by the model of marriage. Now I can hear men saying, but you don't understand, she just doesn't submit. It's hard for me to love her. It's hard for me to leave her because she just won't. She won't submit. She won't respect me. That's not an excuse. The gospel tells us it's not an excuse. The church wasn't respectful and submissive to Christ, and that's why he loved her. He loved her even when the church was abandoning him. He loved those who rejected him. He loved those who hated him. He loved those who spat and fought against him. There's imagery in the Bible, this is. There's imagery in the Bible. That calls the church, that calls God's people a whore. Because we are constantly prostituting ourselves to other gods. And yet God doesn't stop loving us. God loves the unlovely. Your wife not respecting you and not submitting to you, that's not an excuse not to love her. Christ loved you when you were not submissive. Christ loved you when you're not respectful. That's the beauty of the gospel. While we were still sinners, God loved us. While we were still sinners, God chose to come down and die for us as sinners. The model, the bar is set high, men. And you'll never reach it. I know you're not God. But that's still what we are to strive for when your wife is not submitting, when your wife is not respecting you as you think she should. You love her all the more. As Christ has loved us. Husbands, she is submit to you and to you are to love her. This means you are the leader. You must get your leading directions. You must get your orders for leadership. You're not the commander in chief of the home. Christ is the head of you. You don't determine what's right or wrong. God has determined what's right or wrong. You lead your wife according to God's good word. You lead your wife according to Christ's instructions. You must teach what Christ has taught. You must model what Christ has taught. This means you lead with obedience. You are the one who is supposed to be modeling putting off sin and putting on the garments of the soul. Lead with love. Means you are leading by listening. You cannot love your wife unless you're listening. This means we need to listen before we speak. It means we need to listen more than we speak. Our wives are to be studied. Our wives are to be known. We need to know what upsets them. We need to know what makes them happy. We need to pursue caring for them and what upsets them and promoting what makes them happy. Finally, we need to be praying for our wives. We cannot accomplish their happiness alone. We cannot affect their souls. We need to trust God to make our efforts effectual. Now let us look to children. Wake the children. Children, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. Children, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. To obey means you honor, you listen, and you keep the request your parents have given you. You do what they request. Parents, Who wishes they had obeyed their parents more? Stand up if you're a parent and you wish you'd obeyed your parents more. I know you don't stand up a lot. Parents, if you wish you'd obeyed your parents more, stand up. Children, look around. This is a testimony of how obedience is helpful. You can sit down now. A foolish person learns from their own mistakes. You cannot obey your parents and learn the foolish way. If you do not obey your parents, you will end up in trouble. A wise person learns from other people's mistakes. I want you to look around so you can look and learn from our mistakes. We wish we had obeyed our parents more. Your parents are not keeping you from happiness. Your parents are keeping you from danger. Your parents are keeping you from things that are not good for you. Your parents want you to be joyful and happy. So whenever they say no. It's with your best intention. Many of you I know I've heard these three modifications for what it means to obey. You obey quickly, fully. And happily. To obey quickly means you do something and you do it promptly. You don't mope. You don't barter. You don't modify. When your parents tell you to do something, it pleases the Lord for you to obey quickly. To obey fully means you didn't halfway do something. You don't go and put the blocks in the case, but then not put the case where it belongs. It means you obey fully. This is building character in you. To learn to obey fully is building a character in you that will make you an obedient Christian. To obey happily. Now this is the hardest. Yeah, how can I happily clean the toilets? It's by seeing what you're doing makes your parents happy. It's by seeing what you're doing makes God happy. So you can worship in a magnificent way in your home. By obeying. It pleases the Lord, that is your right place of worship, that is your primary arena of worship, obeying your parents, it pleases the Lord. Now, I love this Paul makes sure of your parents and everything, so you have to ask and what do you obey my parents, everything. They're the ones that care for your every need. They're the ones who you obey in their every command. It is everything. When I ask this one question, do you trust your parents to have your best interest in mind? Are your parents trustworthy? If you ask them for bread, are they going to give you a rock? No. Everything you've ever needed, your parents have provided for you. Everything your parents have ever done has been to sacrifice. Thanklessly. Parents do not get thanked enough. Today is not the day you thank your mother only. That's the thing. Moms get thanked once a year for all their labor, for staying up late at night with the sick ones, feeding, caring, washing clothes, cleaning, If you think about everything your parents do for you, is there any way you could think they have anything other than your best interest in mind? Sometimes your parents have to make hard decisions. And you have to trust and know that it is with your best interest in mind. When your parents say no, it's because they love you and they have a clearer vision, a more direct wisdom in what is best for you. So when you're in the grocery store line, and you're really hungry, and you see the candy bar, and you're committed, I need the candy bar. There's something about candy and kids. You're committed, I need the candy bar, and mom says no. Well, the sinful response is to throw a tantrum. And mom's going to say no. The sinful response is to kick and fight against mom, and mom's going to say no. She has your best interest in mind. Even though the easy thing to do would be to give you the candy bar so you quit crying and fighting and embarrassing the family in Target. The easy thing to do is to calm you and to quiet you. But no, her best interest is you. That you don't spoil dinner, that you learn to obey fully, quickly, and happily. When your parents make tough decisions, honor them. Learn to thank them. When you can understand why your parents make certain decisions, trust their wisdom and God's design to put them over you. Nor passage speaks to children, but I do want to address youth because. Well, youth, you're you're in a unique situation. You're starting to get perspective. And you're going to think you're the only one that has this perspective. You're going to think you you've you figure things out and I love the zeal of youth. I miss the zeal of youth. But that zeal needs wisdom. God has given you zeal at a young age and he's given you parents with wisdom so that your zeal has wisdom. It pleases the Lord. Again, this is your opportunity for worship to obey your parents. Finally, fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. Again, the relationships. Children obey. Fathers do not provoke. Now, he focuses on fathers here because fathers would be the one who is primarily committed to leading the family and caring for the children. Do not provoke your children. Now, when I thought of this, it actually gave me a flashback immediately to middle school years. Playing football and one of my best friends, he was a very talented athlete and a very involved father. The father wasn't a coach, but I think he yelled more than anybody else anywhere around us. He was constantly on my friend. He took the joy of the game away from my friend. Because he was so demanding. He constantly saying you had to be better, you had to be better. And this fellow who could have easily gone to play college ball, he quit playing football. His father exasperated him. His father embittered him. His father took the fun out of the game because his father had unmeetable expectations. Fathers. While we are training our children, we need to make sure that we have godly expectations. We need to make sure that we're not trying to live through our children. We need to make sure that we are trying to train up our children to know the heavenly father and to live for him. We must be careful in being overly demanding and overly, overly corrective. We can think of the proverb 22-6, train up a child in the way he should go. Training involves two parts. We talked about this last week. Teaching and admonishing. Teaching and warning. Parents, we need to make sure that we are doing the positive training and the corrective discipline. Discipline requires being in a disciple means you're being taught and you're being warned. Those are the two parts of discipline. I want us to focus on our need to prioritize training children. Tell them what the expectations are. Teach them the Word of God. Care more for their soul. See, correction is what happens when the child messes up. And when all you're doing is correcting, it's fatiguing. It's frustrating. It's why our teaching must be on the... It's why our focus needs to be on the teaching. We need to not see correction as the primary way of the children becoming godly. It's training them. Help them memorize scripture. Help them know the word of God. Help them sing songs of God. Help them know how to obey. And as we're seeking to teach them, we must always remember that we needed patience. We still need patience. And we need to give them patience. We need grace. We will always need grace. And we need to show them grace. As we seek to train up our children, we need to not provoke them and bitter them. They are put under authority for us to care for. They are our responsibility. And we need to make sure that we are loving them, even as God has loved us. Let us go to the father and pray for our families. Father, what weighty and high callings. To try to emulate the love that you've given to us as husbands. To submit to sinful men as wives. To train up children who are your children. We hope that they become your called children. To obey. Lord, I pray that you would bless each of us. With the grace that we need to fulfill our calling in our role. We praise you, Lord, for your beautiful design of the family. We praise you, God, that you have designed and ordered this world the way it is with the relationships in the families the way they are. I pray that we would Be a church that has families committed to you, to obey you, and to worship you. Help us, Lord, to worship you, to please you with the way we relate to one another. Help us, Lord, to be faithful children in your plan. In your holy name we pray. Amen.