Favored and Hated

Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

And this dynamic leads Rebekah and Jacob to come up with a scheme to trick Isaac, and then that results in Esau hating Jacob and seeking to kill him. Well, then Jacob himself gets tricked into marrying two sisters, Rachel and Leah, And then he shows favoritism to Rachel over Leah. So Leah starts competing for her husband's affection by trying to have more children, and Rachel's so distraught over her barrenness that she cries,

give me children or I die.

And now sadly, in spite of all the favoritism that Jacob's seen, been the victim of, and seen wreak havoc in his family, he continues to show favoritism to Joseph by loving him more than all his brothers. Says he loves him as the son of his old age, because after ten other sons were born to other wives, finally his favored wife, Rachel, bears him Joseph. Now before we move on, I just want to pause and make sure we take to heart two very important warnings for us. First, I think we need to take note how sin has a nasty habit of being passed down from one generation to the next. And that's because the example your children see in you is setting the default for them for their future. Unless something happens that changes things for them, most of the time, they're gonna do things the way you did. I remember a conversation that came up one time, and it was over, do you use a washcloth or not in the shower? And most of us had never even thought about it, but then we realized, I guess all of us just do what our parents did. And the point is, you know, that has huge spiritual ramifications, right? I mean, whether it's the way that you prioritize or don't prioritize church, the way that you talk about other people when they're not there, the way you handle your own sin, whether you humbly confess it or sort of proudly excuse it, the way you either extend forgiveness or hold grudges, the way you handle money, the kind of value you place on material things, the kind of discipline you show in reading the Bible and prayer. I mean, these things set the default for your kids. I mean, in many ways, they're likely to be like you. And the scary thing is that they learn to imitate your patterns of sin far more naturally than your patterns of righteousness. It might be hard to get your children to imitate your work ethic, but if you regularly procrastinate and are lazy, it's easy for kids to pick that up. One dad told me that his kids are like a mirror for his own sin. They just realize like anything sinful he does, he sees it parroted and just projected by them, usually in more obvious ways. So this is why parenting is such a high and weighty calling. You just can't relax in your fight against sin. But praise God that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you can put sin to death and strive to be a parent that will model righteousness for your kids. Now a second warning we should take from this is about favoritism specifically. I think this story illustrates for us that whether it's in a family or here in the church, favoritism can have some incredibly devastating consequences. And I think it's particularly dangerous because it's one of those sins that can so easily just lurk in the background. It's a respectable sin. There's not that shock and awe factor that startles us to feel like I have to deal with this. In fact, favoritism can so easily intertwine itself with genuine love. I mean, was there anything wrong with Jacob giving Joseph a special coat? Not inherently. It certainly wasn't that Jacob loved Joseph too much. It's really that he loved the rest of his sons too little. You see, favoritism or partiality is when our preference for one person causes us to fail in our responsibility of love for others. You know, and this failure often just gradually builds over a long period of time. Not so much dramatic things that happen, but just this gradual building that creates like this acidic environment that just eats away at healthy relationships and allows all sorts of vice and envy to grow. You know, so I think we should think about our families and our church and look for anywhere that favoritism might be present among us. You know, of course, there will be some people that we're especially close to, that we want to spend time with, and that's good and right, but is that special love for them causing us to neglect responsibilities of love that we have toward others? That's when favoritism comes in, and if so, we need to deal with that. Back to our story, it seems clear to me that Jacob had been failing to deal with this problem of favoritism for some time. So it forms the backdrop against which the rest of the events here take place. Now there are three events, three key events mentioned in verses 1 through 11, which contribute to growing animosity between Joseph and his brothers. First, Joseph brings a bad report to his father. Second, Jacob gives Joseph a special robe. And then third, Joseph has two dreams. Now the first of these, when Joseph brings a bad report, could be interpreted as Joseph being a tattletale. You know, he's sort of instigating things with his brothers. But I think it's more likely that his brothers were actually doing something very wrong and that Joseph was warranted in saying something about this to his father. The broader narrative in Genesis has already told us some very unpleasant things about a number of Leah's sons. Simeon and Levi brutally murdered all the men of Shechem. Reuben committed adultery with Bilhah, his father's wife. Chapter 38 is going to tell us some really nasty things about Judah. So Leah's sons are a pretty rotten bunch. And now verse 2 mentions the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah specifically. That's Gad, Asher, Dan, and Naphtali. So I think the implication is that they're pretty rotten too. In other words, it's showing us that Joseph kind of stands alone. He's being presented as the one son of Jacob who seems to have some integrity and concern for proper living, something we see very clearly when he gets to Egypt. But of course, against the backdrop of favoritism, this is only straining his relationship with his brothers even more. Well, now the second event becomes something of a breaking point. Because Jacob gives Joseph a special robe, either of many colors or, as some Bibles will note, long sleeves. And this makes Jacob's favoritism of Joseph explicit. And then every day it serves as a constant reminder to his brothers of it. Now, perhaps it signified that Joseph would be chosen as the replacement for Reuben. who'd probably forfeited his firstborn status through his adultery. Perhaps, as one scholar argued, it signified that Jacob was placing Joseph in a managerial position over his brothers. Apparently long sleeves would have indicated that. Or perhaps this was just a very special gift. But whatever the case, as verse 4 says, this act made clear to his brothers that their father loved Joseph more than all of them, so they hated him. and could not speak peacefully to him. So by this point the relationship has deteriorated to the point that it's like the brothers have chains on their mouths when it comes to saying something kind. They could not speak peacefully to him. They were enslaved by the hatred of their hearts. And they're demonstrating what Romans chapter three says is characteristic of men outside of Christ.

Their throat is an open grave. They use their tongues to deceive. The venom of snakes is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.

In every word they spoke to Joseph was like a drawn sword. And brothers and sisters, this is why Jesus says to us that

he who sins is a slave of sin.

Sin is like this, it's like a disease and a power that renders us unable to do good just as much as an Ethiopian can't change his skin or a leopard his spots. This is the enslaving power of sin. And praise God that Jesus goes on to say,

but whom the Son sets free will be free indeed.

Well, Joseph's brothers hate him so much that they can't even speak peaceably to him. And yet somehow, through the third event, they grow to hate him even more. Joseph has two dreams. Later on, Joseph will explain to Pharaoh, who also has two dreams, that God gave him two dreams to emphasize the dreams are sure. So probably these aren't intended to be two separate dreams, but a repeated dream. whereby God is emphasizing its certainty. And in the first dream, Joseph and his brothers are binding sheaves in the field, that is, bundling grain, and his brother's sheaves bow down to his sheaf. And in the second dream, the sun, the moon, and the 11 stars bow down to Joseph. And unlike many other dreams in scripture, which, where the meaning can seem very mysterious at first, the meaning of these dreams seems pretty plain to everyone. Joseph is gonna rule over his family one day. Now, in light of the animosity between Joseph and his brothers, we might ask, why is Joseph telling them this? I mean, is he naive? Maybe he's sharing to kind of gloat and antagonize them. Or I think maybe he shared out of conviction that this was a divine revelation, and he had an obligation to make it known. You know, obviously we share the gospel with people that we know aren't going to want to hear it because we feel obligated to do so. Well, we're not told the reason, but I think we can say two things with clarity. First, Joseph shares these dreams because he believes them. He believes that this is what God says and what God will do. And second, the problem that Joseph's family has is not so much with Joseph sharing the dreams, but with the dreams themselves. Notice in verse 10, when Jacob rebukes Joseph, he says,

what is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall I and your mother and brothers indeed come and bow ourselves before you?

It was not, well, that's a nice dream, but you really should have kept it to yourself because your brothers don't like you. It's how could you believe this? There's unbelief in Jacob's heart. And yet at the same time, interestingly it says, he kept the matter in mind. As if there was another part of him that knew deep down maybe this dream really is from God. Similarly, Joseph's brothers mock the dreams and are outraged by them. Of course it insults their pride to think of their younger brother reigning over them. But you get the sense that they too know deep down that there might be something more to this. We see they're still thinking of these dreams by the time Jacob comes to meet them in Dothan. And so I think their hatred and jealousy of Joseph deepens here as they begin to stew on the possibility that not only their father has favored Joseph, but now perhaps even God himself. And I wanna pause here again and consider a couple things that this teaches us about the sin of envy. First, I think a case can be made that envy is among the most vicious of all sin. In Proverbs 27 verse 4, it says,

wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?

I mean, it's a scary thing to deal with an angry, wrathful person. You know, someone who, if you just do the slightest thing to them, will just fly off the handle. But an envious person will hate you for doing good. Envy will hate someone for being kind and friendly if it means that they make more friends than you do. Envy will hate someone for working hard and earning money if it means it makes them richer than you. Or envy will even hate someone for serving the church and using their gifts to bring people to Christ if they can do it more faithfully or fruitfully than you. See, that's why

wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, But who can stand before jealousy?

Well, listen to James chapter 3 verse 16. It says,

for where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

And so if you let jealousy and selfish ambition just sit there in your heart or in an environment every other kind of disorder and vice and vile practice will follow suit. I mean, it's almost like if you just leave like seafood out in the warm sun, you know, I mean, every kind of foul bacteria is going to show up soon. And, and, and I think that's because jealousy is, is already pride mixed with selfishness. I mean, it's like a competitive form of greed. It's already got all the negative aspects of greed and selfishness, but then in addition to that, there's this competitive spirit of pride and arrogance that's just as happy to pull you down as it is to see itself lifted up. And that's just a vicious combination. I mean, that can lead to some of the most cold-hearted evil imaginable, as the story of Joseph will show. So this is one of those sins that I think we need to be especially watchful for in our lives, that we need to fight to nip in the bud. Maybe you're tempted to envy someone else for their spiritual gifts. Maybe it's for the attention of pastors or other members. Maybe it's for their financial prosperity or good health. Maybe it's for their marriage. or the freedom they have in singleness, or the blessing of having children. I mean, the list could go on and on, but the point is, we must not let envy lurk in our hearts. I mean, it will destroy us. And that brings us to a second thing that this story teaches us about envy, which is that ultimately envy always comes back to God. Like when you envy someone, it's never really about you and that other person you're envying. Ultimately, it's always about you and God. I mean, Joseph's brothers envied him for his dreams. But those dreams came from God. They hated him for suggesting that one day he would reign over them. But that was the plan of God. You see, their envy of Joseph wasn't just tied to hatred for Joseph, but hatred for God himself. And as soon as we realize that God is sovereign, that he is in control of absolutely everything, well then it's going to be clear to us that that's actually always the case with envy. You know, anytime we're envying someone else for what they have or the position they're in, it's really a judgment against God for the position he's placed you in and what he's given you. I mean, it means instead of receiving from God the plate of circumstances, he's handed you with gratitude. It means throwing it back in his face. And this becomes all the more sad and even sickening when we realize all that God has given to us. I mean, just think for a moment about Jacob's 10 older sons. They are in the chosen family of God. Generations of future Israelites will later identify themselves by their names, saying, I'm of the tribe of Judah, I'm of the tribe of Simeon, I'm of the tribe of Dan. I mean, how many would one day just long to be in their position? You know, would look back and think how privileged they were. And yet they themselves look at the lot that God had given them and hated him for it. And brothers and sisters, just think of what God has done for us. I mean, if you're in Christ, he chose you from before the foundation of the world. He's blessed you with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. He's adopted us into his family. He's promised us an inheritance that's imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, and reserved in heaven for us. How can we throw that back in God's face by envying others? May it never be. Well, in verses 12 through 28, the story continues. And Joseph sent by his father to check on his brothers who are pastoring the flock in Shechem. And when he finally finds them in Dothan, we see the depravity of this family on display in a way that's downright shocking. Verse 18 says,

they saw him from afar, and before he came near to them, they conspired against him to kill him. They said to one another, here comes this dreamer. Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits. Then we will say that a fierce animal has devoured him, and we will see what will become of his dreams.

" Now, for some reason, Reuben intervenes. Perhaps he sees this as an opportunity to sort of restore himself to his father's good graces by rescuing Joseph. Perhaps he feels an added accountability as the oldest son. Or perhaps just in spite of his sexual misconduct, he's the one brother with some degree of compassion toward Joseph. But whatever the case, he seems to lack the courage to stand up for Joseph openly. Instead, he just convinces the others, don't kill him yet. and plans to secretly come and rescue him later on. So Joseph arrives and the brothers pounce on him. They strip him of his robe and throw him into a pit where apparently he would have eventually died of thirst. And then they themselves sit down to eat. Now the narrator spares us of some of the details here, but this is a chilling scene. Can you imagine what this must have been like for Joseph? to suddenly be seized by his own brothers with murder in their eyes, stripped and thrown into a pit to die. Just imagine him screaming, begging, the look of terror in his eyes. In fact, over 20 years later, when Joseph's brothers are in Egypt and they face some difficulties there, they say to one another,

in truth, we are guilty concerning our brother in that we saw the distress of his soul when he begged us and we didn't listen. That's why this distress has come upon us.

I mean, over 20 years later, the look in Joseph's face, his cries for distress still haunt them. The moment they face trouble, this comes to their mind and their consciences are reminding them what they did. And yet in that moment, their hearts were so calloused by hatred and envy that after they throw their brother into a pit, seeing his face, hearing his cries, they sat down to eat. I mean, it's terrifying to think about how calloused sin can make us. Ephesians 4.19 speaks of some who are so lost in sin that they are past feeling. Totally insensitive. 1 Timothy 4.2 speaks of others whose consciences are seared with a hot iron. And friends, if we reach that point, I mean, there's no limit to what you can do. I mean, it's like if the feeling in your hand is numb, there's no limit to how you can cut it, what you can do to it. There's just no response. And the scary thing is that's what our hearts can be like if we persist in sin long enough. So Joseph's brothers are prepared to kill him, but then Midianite traders just happen to be passing by. And as they sit down to eat, Judah looks up and he has the idea, well, why don't we sell Joseph to them? Because then we can at least get some money for him. So that's what they do. Now, apparently Reuben wasn't there because he comes back and is shocked to find Joseph not in the pit. But Reuben doesn't pursue the Midianites. He doesn't demand that the truth be told to their father. Instead, all the brothers agree together to lie and tell their father that a fierce animal must have devoured him. So in a sadly ironic way, just as Jacob himself had once used a garment to deceive his father Isaac, now Jacob's sons use a garment to deceive him. And their remaining hatred for Joseph is palpable when they tell their father, verse 32,

this we have found. Please identify whether it is your son's robe or not.

I mean, they can't even show concern for their brother as they tell lies. So the chapter concludes with Jacob in unconsolable sorrow. And the bitter irony is that You know, the brothers have done all this motivated by jealousy for their father's affection. And yet we see how little affection they have for him. Instead of any of their scheming, plotting, and sin, doing anything to make the situation better, all they've accomplished is bringing misery to their father, misery to their family, and even misery to themselves. as they will go on living with guilty consciences that will haunt them from this day forward. So this story shows us the futility of sin, the ugliness of sin, and just how shockingly depraved even the chosen family of God really is. And at this point, the natural question is, well, where is God in this? I mean, how is there hope when sin goes this deep? And that brings us to the second point, which is hidden providence. The number two, hidden providence. And as I said at the beginning, even though God is never even mentioned in this chapter, it's actually written to show us that God's the one acting, guiding, and in control the whole time. And I think we see that in four ways in particular here. First, and most obviously we see it in the dreams themselves. I mean, the amazing thing as we keep reading the narrative is that we find that these dreams will be fulfilled. And the fact that Joseph dreamed them and shared them in advance shows us that God planned it all along and he wanted Joseph and his family to know that. Second, we see God's hidden providence in all the little details that serve to fulfill those dreams. You know, for example, why does the narrative bother to tell us all the little details about Joseph searching for his brothers in Shechem, finding a man in the fields who, you know, kind of directs him on, and then he goes on to Dothan, and then finally he finds him? Why all the little detail? Well, I think it's meant to help us appreciate that if the timing had been any different, you know, if the brothers hadn't sat down to eat at just that moment, if Joseph wasn't in the pit, you know, if the Midianite traders didn't happen to be passing by right then, none of this would have happened. I mean, all the little details are working together just right. And it's showing us that that's because God is the one who's in control of them all. In his hidden providence, he is guiding everything. Third, we see God's hidden providence in that the brothers were actively working to try to prevent the dreams. You know, look back at verse 20, where the brothers discuss their plans and they say, we will see what will become of his dreams. You know, how little they knew that by trying to oppose them, they would actually become the very instrument by which those dreams would come to pass. It's almost like God enjoys using even his enemies to accomplish his purposes just to show how absolutely in control he is. And then fourth, we see God's hidden providence in that this whole story is tied to prior promises of God. You know, Joseph isn't just a man randomly chosen for a surprising life. He was chosen as part of the unfolding plan of God, whereby God had promised to bring blessing to the world through the family of Abraham. And part of a plan whereby God had already communicated that he was going to take this family to Egypt to multiply there, and then God would bring them back out of Egypt in years to come. And even though this family is shockingly depraved, plagued by sin just like all the other families of the earth, yet God sovereignly and providentially chooses to display his power to save and his determination to bring blessing to a sinful world through them. As I said at the beginning, the main point of this passage is that God providentially fulfills his purposes in spite of human sin. Genesis 37 is here to teach us that no amount of sin or depravity can derail the purposes of God. He's the God who reaches down to save sinners by His grace and for His glory. He's the God who saves us not because of us, but in spite of us. And He's a God who seems to delight to bring that salvation to pass through means that are often surprising and hidden to us, to show us that he's the God who's always utterly in control every step of the way. You know, as I reflected on this, I thought about how we can see this so clearly with Jesus and the cross as well. Have you ever thought about the fact that some of those who are most committed to trying to thwart Jesus and prevent the coming of his kingdom were actually the most pivotal in establishing it? Think for example of Caiaphas, who just wanted to stop Jesus and justified plotting to murder him by saying,

do you not know that it's better for one man to die for the people than for the whole nation to perish?

But then we read,

but he did not say this of his own accord. But being high priest that year, He prophesied that Jesus would die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but also to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad.

I mean, Caiaphas spoke and acted to resist Jesus. But in the hidden providence of God, he prophesied and acted so that Jesus's mission might be fulfilled. Or remember the words of the apostles in Acts chapter 4.

Why did the Gentiles rage and the people's plot in vain? The kings of the earth set themselves and the rulers were gathered together against the Lord and against his anointed, for truly in this city were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place.

They were all acting to destroy Jesus. They were trying to resist God and frustrate his purposes. But God was acting through them to accomplish his purposes, to fulfill his promises, and to establish his kingdom and bring salvation and blessing to all peoples. How beautiful is the hidden providence of God? As Paul said,

oh the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God, how unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways.

I mean he's the God who has used the greatest crime in the history of the world, the murder of his own son, to achieve the greatest good imaginable, the salvation of all peoples to the ends of the earth. And that means that for you and me and all peoples everywhere,

Whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

Jesus died on the cross so that the full penalty for our sin could be paid for. And even though we, just like Jacob's family, are often shockingly depraved sinners, who have absolutely nothing good to offer so that we might earn God's salvation, yet he freely bestows it on all who call upon him as a gift of his grace. As Romans 4, 5 says,

but to the one who does not work, but believes on him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness.

Friend, you can receive salvation even today. You can call on the Lord. You can not work, but believe on him who justifies the ungodly. and your faith will be counted as righteousness. The righteousness of Christ will be credited to you. Your sin will be taken away. And so what does that life of faith look like? What does it mean to believe God, to believe in Christ, and live a life of faith? Well, that brings us to our third and final point. We've seen shocking depravity, hidden providence, and now finally, young faith. And I just want to call attention to Joseph's example. Obviously he was young, only 17 years old. He experienced something more traumatic than most of us ever have. And yet Joseph's the one who believed that the dreams were from God. And he's the one who, even after being sold as a slave in Egypt, continues to believe God, continues to trust Him, continues to live a life of faith. I mean, somehow the trial he experienced didn't drive him from God, but even closer to Him. I mean, somehow in the midst of a situation that seemed so opposite to the future that God had promised him, he was unwavering in believing God. And through that, I think Joseph teaches us that true faith looks beyond present circumstances to the character and nature of God himself. You see, faith remains undaunted even by things that seem opposite what we would expect, that seem contrary to the plan of God because it looks beyond them to who God is. And she said, this is the God who is all powerful. Nothing is too hard for Him. He holds all of the circumstances and little details of life in the palm of His hand. That He is the God of love, who cares for us, and He is the God who is always faithful, who always keeps His word. All right, so faith remains steadfast through all the surprising twists and turns of life. Faith remembers that God is wise, That his thoughts are not our thoughts, nor his ways our ways. And so it trusts resolutely, even in the darkest circumstances, that God's good purposes will stand. As a song that we'll soon sing says,

God moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform. He plants his footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm. You fearful saints, fresh courage take. The clouds you so much dread are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head. Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust him for his grace. Behind a frowning providence, he hides a smiling face. Blind unbelief is sure to err and scan his work in vain. God is his own interpreter and he will make it plain.

You know, there was no way for Joseph to know why God sent him as a slave to Egypt. But he judged not the Lord by feeble sense, but trusted in his grace. He recognized that behind a frowning providence, God hides a smiling face. And in the end, Joseph could look back on his life and see clearly that as for his brothers, yes, they meant evil against him, but God meant it for good. that they meant to destroy him, but God used it to save lives. And that's why he could say, and that's why we can say,

blind unbelief is sure to err and scan his work in vain. God is his own interpreter and he will make it plain.

You know, I don't know what kind of trials you're facing in your life. I don't know what kind of seemingly pointless suffering you faced, but I know that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, The God of Joseph, the God who sent Jesus to the cross, is the God who says,

all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

And that does not mean present comfort. It doesn't mean worldly success. But it does mean conformity to the image of Christ. So on the last day, we might stand with him. in God's own eternal presence and glory. And so I pray that as you reflect on Genesis 37 this morning, you will find fresh courage and fresh faith to know that God works by hidden providence to fulfill his promises, both in spite of and even through human sin. I pray that that will strengthen you to live faithfully for Christ now and as many days as God gives you. And I pray that that faith will grant you the patience to persevere until the day when you can look back on all the things that don't make sense right now and know that God has made it plain.

He who calls us is faithful. He will surely do it.

Amen. Let's pray. Our Father, we thank you so much for your word to us through Genesis 37, We praise you as the God who is in control of all things, and as the God who has given us such great and precious promises in Christ, promises that we can cling to in trial, promises that we can cling to in the midst of all that we go through, and promises that assure us that in spite of how shockingly depraved we are, how deep our sin goes, you have made satisfaction. You have paid for it all through your Son, Jesus Christ. So we pray that you would hold us fast and that you would help us to bring you great glory with our lives for you are worthy. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.