Ephesians 4:32

let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.

The very fact of who we are together means we are to speak the truth to one another. And then if you go up further, verses 15 and 16,

when every member does his work, the whole body grows up to Christ.

We see the, the director of, of which we're all growing together, each working every member doing, uh, it's significant labor. Uh, 11 and 14, we're all growing in, uh, according to the same measuring goal, all seeking to be Christ-like, uh, every member participating in that speaking his truth according to his love.

And then significantly chapter four, uh, I hope maybe half of you have done Ephesians with me. My goal is that everyone would eventually, uh, well, no, uh, sermon more and more, uh, as we went through a sermon series, but. Ephesians has two parts. One to three is what God has done for that significant transition. Therefore, and notice we, because Christ has come to unite himself with us and give us every blessing where to walk in a manner worthy. Uh, verse two,

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.

What does that imply? We're all kind of difficult. The, the, the body of Christ is made up of members who can be a little prickly or difficult bearing with one another. And, and, and, and with that month, maintaining the unity of the spirit, not creating a unity, but maintaining seeking to uphold the unity of the spirit.

Well, with all that big focus there of one body, many members, all working, all serving, all speaking, all loving, here I wanna come to the end of chapter 42, our verse tonight.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other as God in Christ forgave you.

Important to recognize here in verse 32, grammatically, the word be is the operative command. All the other characteristics that we're supposed to look at here, kind, tenderhearted, forgiving, B is the operative command. Be kind, be tender-hearted, be forgiven. The subject of that command is the plural y'all. Y'all be kind, y'all be tender-hearted, y'all be forgiven. Whole lot of Bs? Be better. Isn't that encouraging? Do you hear the gospel sweetness just ringing out, be better?

Well, thankfully, according to the gospel of Jesus Christ, we can be more Christ-like. That's why it's important we just get that little bit of work there to show we're doing this under the headship of Christ. We're doing this because of all Christ has done. We're able to be a whole new kind of person because of the grace of Jesus Christ. At the same time, we are to be this way. It requires our intention, our direction, and our effort.

There's a way also in which I think it's not just be, because you don't just all of a sudden be a certain kind of person. It has an aspect of becoming. Become more kind. Become more tenderhearted. Become more forgiving. You don't just all of a sudden act a certain way. You learn by practice with the direction of your life how to become more like Christ.

So three commands. Y'all be kind. That means good towards another, useful, loving. Y'all be tenderhearted. Literally means good bowels. I don't know how much constipation and care have related to you here, but it literally means good bowels. It means the inner feeling you have towards one another. And y'all be forgiving. Simply put, we'll call it for now, releasing someone from your wrath.

These correspond to one another. as three active ways we're supposed to relate to each other as the body of Christ. They relate to verse 31 as well. Verse 31 are the ways in which we're not supposed to relate to each other. Those are the things we put off that we are not to behave or treat each other with. Verse 31 are the different characteristics and ways we put on to act towards each other.

Be kind

Kindness, be kind. A genuine concern and care for others. It's not just let's be nice and try to maintain a unity by avoiding all conflict. No, there's something much more in that you're seeking to be good for one another. As one body, we're seeking to be good together and therefore good towards each other. There's a way in which you're useful to others and that you're helping them with mercy. And it's not just a generic goodness, it's God's goodness. We're supposed to be acting in good towards all for the collective good of what God has declared.

This past Sunday, I said something about being a Christian Platonist. It's kind of like the things I really want to say the least, draw the most attention in terms of questions I get from the all afterwards. So I want to take an opportunity to define what I mean by that.

All philosophy is supposed to be seeking rules for happiness. Our culture says, I need this world to conform to my desires in order for me to be happy. That's the opposite of what it means to be a Platonist. To be a Platonist means you know there is a reality, a truth, and the more you conform to that reality, the happier you'll be. As a Christian Platonist, God is your real truth, your real goodness, and your real happiness. The more you conform to him and his reality, the more content and happy you'll be. In order to do good to each other, we know God and help each other grow to be more conformed to know who he is and to fit into his truth and reality.

Be tenderhearted

Be tenderhearted. This is how you feel of others. You have compassion towards others. It's an inward affection. There's a way in which it's helpful that it's about how we have a disposition or feeling towards others, because that then will lead to genuine love. I'm curious, if you have siblings, did your parents ever do that thing where they make you hug your sibling while you're still mad at each other? That's the opposite of this. Right, that's good, right? Your practice of hugging your sibling that you do love, but you're pretty annoyed by, that's good to practice that love, but it is a true tenderheartedness, a genuineness, a care. It's actually having a discipline over the way we feel about others.

Be forgiving

Well, that last one, be forgiving. I believe this is a high mark of the Christian life. I believe there's many ways in which in God's common grace, as his image bears, there's lots of humans that aren't Christians that are kind to others, good to others, tenderhearted, and even forgiving. But I don't believe a non-Christian can forgive the way that Paul is calling us to forgive. I believe this is one of the high callings and unique aspects of what it means to be a Christian.

Here's my definition of forgiveness, which is a little bit more. Forgiveness is a promise not to seek revenge, but to pursue reconciliation. There's more to say, but I want to start there, the simplicity. Forgiveness is a promise you make. I'm not going to let that sin committed be a hindrance. I'm not going to try to make you feel how bad that is. I'm not going to try to seek my own revenge in some way. No, rather, I'm going to pursue reconciliation. It's a promise that I'm not going to make somebody else pay for their sin. It's a promise I'm going to move toward that person who sinned against me.

See, promise is part of a equation. Reconciliation has two parts. Repentance plus forgiveness equals reconciliation. Repentance, the person who says, I'm sorry. Forgiveness, the person who says, I forgive you. That's when reconciliation takes place. Some say you cannot forgive unless the person repents and confesses. I say your forgiveness is harder when the person doesn't repent and confess, but I believe a Christian still is called to forgive even when the person doesn't repent.

In short, I would say it's because I forgive as God in Christ forgave me, and I'm pretty sure I haven't repented of every sin, and yet God has forgiven me. I think we must do the hard work to be ready to forgive and seek reconciliation when they would repent.

Forgiveness is a promise. It's a promise that helps us not harbor bitterness. Forgiveness is a promise that I will not hold this sin against you. I will not allow it to be an obstacle in our relationship. I will not tell others about it to slander you. I will not tuck it away and wallop you with it the next time I'm upset. I will not insult you, I will not insist you feel my pain in order for us to have a renewed relationship. I will not create a distance between us because of that sin.

My concern is that we use the word forgiveness a lot, but it's too flippant. It's a word that's, Easy to say and hard to do. It's a promise that's easy to make and really challenging to keep. Christian, be forgiving.

The means and the measure

Now the next thing is gonna be the most encouraging and the most demanding part of the passage.

Forgiving each other as God in Christ forgave you. forgiving each other as God in Christ forgave you.

Here, the gospel is the means and the measure by which we think about forgiveness.

First, the means. God's forgiveness is the means by which we forgive each other. The forgiveness you received is a fuel for you to forgive others. You are able to forgive others of great sins and wrongs because God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you. The Father nailed your sin against him and everyone else to the cross. Your penalty is paid in full. Christ on the cross declares

it is finished.

Your debt is paid in full. You've sinned against God more and worse than anything anyone's ever sinned against you. But God in Christ has declared you forever forgiven, justified, and innocent.

It's the means by which you forgive because every time someone sins against you and you wrestle with what forgiveness is, you go to the gospel and think, how have I sinned against God more? How can I extend the same grace he's given to me? That's the encouraging part.

The demanding part is recognizing that God's forgiveness is also the measure with which you forgive. You start looking out for certain words and realizing they all have maybe a, a unique way of encouraging you or having a bite.

The word, but oftentimes has one of the great gospel declarations,

but God rich in grace made you alive.

or therefore there's a significant application, a significant demand, that little word as, it sets the measure by which you forgive. It sets the measure by which you love.

Forgive others as God in Christ forgave you.

The high call of the Christian is to forgive as God has forgiven. We see all this in Matthew, back in chapter 7 or 6.

If you do not forgive, you won't be forgiven.

That's how important this doctrine is.

There's significance here that we like to set our own standards for who will forgive and how and why we would forgive them. It might be we think, I won't forgive this person for this sin because that's just too much. When you take this to the declaration that you forgive as God forgives, what sin is too much for God? Or you might ask, well, how many times do I need to forgive the person? They keep repeating, well, do I have to forgive them seven times? Well, no, Jesus says

70 times seven times.

This is where forgiveness gets challenging because we prefer to hold onto a grudge. We prefer to make sure we don't forgive those kinds of sinners. When we recognize the call to forgive is as God has forgiven us, it washes away all those measures, just like it washed away our sin.

If we go to the cross, we recognize how great a power God has to forgive us, and how he blesses us to forgive others.

Forgiveness by definition is painful

Something that we need to know about forgiveness as well, Referring there to Matthew 18 with you forgive 70 times seven, as God in Christ forgave us, what did God do with our sin? If we think of that Matthew 18, that king who forgave the great debt, what happened to all the money? He absorbed it.

Forgiveness by definition is painful. Because instead of making sure they feel how painful you have experienced their sin, you're absorbing pain when you forgive. When you're forgiving as God in Christ forgave you, who took your sin upon himself, it is by definition a painful absorbing practice.

And again, that's why the gospel grace you have received is the fuel and the means by which you can forgive others.

So Christian, be forgiving. Be armed with grace, be ready to forgive. One of the ways we become more forgiving is not being easily offended or upset, letting love cover a multitude of sins.

The command to forgive each other is practicing Uh, that Christ has accomplished his great grace for all of us.

And one more just challenge here. If we choose to make sure somebody suffers because they've sinned against us, I mean, think about what you're doing. If, if, if they're a fellow believer, Christ paid for their sin and you think you're going to make them suffer some kind of punishment for it, apart from what Christ has already paid for. If they're a fellow believer, Christ has already paid for their sin. He suffered the penalty.

The oddity that we would think they must suffer our penalty in order for forgiveness to take place is out of bounds. So forgive as God forgave you. Think about that. When you first were forgiven, when you first believed, how much of your sin were you aware of? It's pretty amazing how little of our sin we are in any way aware of at that moment of first conversion. It's usually just one thing, in my experience, in talking to people. What little we know. It isn't that he bombards us with all of our sin. No, he convicts us of sin to show us how great he is to forgive. He also does it to make sure we feel the full pain of what our sin meant. He doesn't make sure we feel the full weight of it. No, he makes sure we feel the full grace that he gives.

God doesn't make us explain ourselves when he forgives us. God doesn't make sure that we don't do it again in order to forgive us. That high calling, as God in Christ forgave you, is a great means but also a weighty measure.

How would you practice this?

So how would you practice this? First, I would encourage you, if someone has sinned against you, especially if they're a member of this body, if they're a fellow Christian, the first thing I would encourage you to do is pray for them. It's hard to not have a tender heart for somebody when you're praying for them. Especially if they don't confess their sin, pray for them that God would tenderize their heart, that God would Make sure you have the grace ready to forgive them as you've wrestled through your own sin and how much God has forgiven you. Pray for them that God would lead them into his blessed estate in confessing sin and that you all be reconciled.

Secondly, recognize the Lord's Supper is the goal. Us partaking of the body of Christ and the blood that was shed That's the goal in reconciliation. That's a way in which we're reminded as we feel others have sinned against us and we want to have reconciliation. The Lord's Supper is a great ceremony where we get to celebrate reconciliation taking place. Again, as we think about the sin that others have done towards us, we think of how Christ has forgiven us and we want to forgive them. The Lord's Supper is the significant way that we celebrate reconciliation in our role in forgiving others.

Lastly, and this is one of the holy spaces in your home, one of the holy spaces is your table. When we have to sit down and fellowship, we have to sit down and talk, recognize there's routines, especially if it's a family or your friends, you have to come to the table and enjoy each other. One of the most difficult things about our culture is if you don't like somebody or somebody's sinning against you, you can just kind of disappear and create odd distance. The whole idea that we're regularly coming together, not just the Lord's Supper, but also meals together. Meals together is where we sit and fellowship and you really can't hold on to these sins. You really can't hold on to forgiveness if we're going to sit and enjoy the fellowship time.

One of the most significant things we wanna walk away from, as God and Christ forgave you, God is abundant in grace and generous. If we want to walk in the way of our Father, if we want to walk in the way of Christ, we want to be abundant and quick and generous to forgive.

Will you pray with me? Father, we thank you for not leaving us in our sin, not leaving us to suffer the penalty we deserve. Father, we thank you that you make us instruments of grace and ambassadors of reconciliation. Pray that we would know how to practice that forgiveness here among other gospel believers. Pray that you would help us be unified by repenting, forgiving, I pray that we would promote and seek the unity to maintain the unity of the spirit by repenting and forgiving as we have been forgiven. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.