Sermon

1 Corinthians 7 — Honoring God Through Singleness and Marriage

February 16, 2003

This passage continues the teaching begun in chapter 6 and also falls under the intent of v. 20: “Therefore honor God with your body.” This includes not just fleeing from sexual immorality (6:18) but also, more positively, pursuing a godly marriage or making a godly choice for singleness.

Last week I stressed how God created the marriage relationship. It was part of the pre-fall perfection. Marriage is an institution highly esteemed and respected by believers, because God made it for us. The relationship between a husband and wife mirrors the mysterious relationship between Christ and the church (see Eph 5).

1 Corinthians 7, however, makes clear that marriage is not the only calling for believers. Some are called to a life of singleness. To be single is not to be less than human or to be defective. Paul even describes it as a “gift” in 7:7. Some are given the gift of singleness and celibacy so that they might pursue service to the Lord with complete and undivided devotion.

Paul does not say that every marriage honors God; nor does he say that every single person who is a believer is necessarily honoring God in his or her singleness. You can be married and be miserable; you can be single and be miserable. What Paul holds forward before us today is a vision of honoring God through our marriages, if God calls us to marriage, and honoring God through singleness, if God calls us to singleness. 1 Corinthians 7 is a veritable treasure trove of wisdom for understanding marriage and singleness from a Christian perspective.

We can break it down into four major sections of teaching:

vv. 1-7: Both marriage and singleness have God’s blessing.
vv. 8-16, 39-40: We are to strive for faithfulness in whatever marital circumstance we find ourselves.
vv. 17-24: Contentment is the key to the Christian life.
vv. 25-38: Young people, especially, should put the Lord first in their lives.

1. vv. 1-7: Both marriage and singleness have God’s blessing.

Apparently the Corinthians had written to Paul asking his opinion about matters concerning marriage and divorce (v. 1).

Paul begins by saying: “It is good for a man not to marry” (KJV captures the literal: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”).

Some have been bothered by what Paul says. Some see it as evidence that Paul was chauvinistic or that he had a hang up with women. Some see Paul as being world-denying or ascetic.

Paul might seem here to be contradicting the original goodness and blessing of marriage. Proverbs 18:22 says: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Surely Paul knew and affirmed this basic truth.

I think that they key to understanding what he says here is to understand that Paul speaks from his own personal experience. He says in v. 7: “I wish that all men were as I am.” Paul was one who had the gift of singleness or celibacy.

The problem at Corinth was that some were apparently saying that marriage did not matter anymore. Maybe they were living as ascetics, saying that the physical world was evil and that believers could abandon their old human relationships. Maybe they were saying that if a believer was married to an unbeliever then he or she could just abandon the marriage. Perhaps they were wrongly telling Christian husbands and wives that it was sinful for them to enjoy a relationship of sexual intimacy. They were making celibacy a one-size-fits-all ethic for all believers. But you see Paul rejected that. Even though he was himself called to singleness, he did not hold that up as the only option for believers.

In v. 2 he says: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”

In vv. 3-5 Paul affirms that believing husbands and wives should fulfill their duties to each other. In v. 5 he urges them not to deny each other the pleasure and joy of sexual intimacy unless it is by mutual agreement as a kind of fasting so as to devote themselves to prayer. In v. 4 Paul is bold enough to say that when you are married you no longer have ownership (authority) over your body. The wife belongs to her husband and the husband belongs to his wife. There is a radical equality in Christian marriage.

In this passage Paul affirms the value of frequent enjoyment of shared sexual intimacy between a husband and wife. It’s Biblical, and it is good! In fact, Paul says it is unhealthy for the marriage if this is not a regular part of the marriage relationship. Even if a husband and wife mutually choose to fast from sexual activity for spiritual reasons, Paul says: “Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (v. 5). One of the themes we will see throughout this passage is that marriage is God’s provision of protection from sexual temptation.

Again, Paul can say all of this about marriage even though he recognizes it is not the path God had intended for him personally (v. 7).

2. vv. 8-16, 39-40: We are to strive for faithfulness in whatever marital circumstance we find ourselves.

Paul now turn to address some particular concerns raised among the Corinthians. He is a kind of Christian “Dear Abby” (dispensing a lot better advice than she does!).

In vv. 8-9 Paul addresses the unmarried and widows and he says: “it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am” (v. 8). Again, he presses his personal perspective, but proceeds to recognize that it is not for everyone. Apparently, in the early Christian communities there were fellowships of widows who would work in service to the church. In 1 Tim 5 Paul addressed a problem of some women who committed to join this group and then broke that vow:

11 As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry.
12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge.
13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.
14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.

Here Paul encourages them only to take this vow of celibacy and singleness if that is their calling. If not, he says, “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” See once again how marriage is God’s provision for protection from sexual temptation.

In vv. 10-11 Paul addresses the issue of divorce. One thing is clear from scripture, God does not look on a broken marriage covenant lightly. In Malachi 2:15-16 we read:

15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
16 “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Jesus taught the only concession for divorce was marital unfaithfulness (Matt 19:9).

Paul even here says that if a woman is divorced that she should remain unmarried and seek reconciliation with her husband. The same is implied for the husband. God’s standards for marriage are high!

In vv. 12-16 Paul addresses the issue of mixed marriages. By the way, from the Biblical perspective a “mixed marriage” has absolutely nothing to do with one’s race or ethnic make-up. It has only to do with mixing a believer with an unbeliever. This was apparently a difficult issue in Corinth. Paul will write in 2 Cor 6:14: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”

In vv. 12-14 Paul urges the believing man or woman married to an unbeliever to stick with that marriage and not to desert it. He claims that the believing spouse can have a sanctifying influence on their married partner and on the children that come from that marriage.

In v. 15 Paul offers a practical concession that if the unbeliever abandons the marriage then the believer may accept it. But again, it is not to be initiated by the believer.

V. 16 is a great encouragement verse for those who are married to unbelievers. How do you know that your actions, your godly example and you prayers might result in the salvation of your spouse? Cf. 1 Peter 3:1-2:

1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

At the very end of this chapter in vv. 39-40 Paul addresses the issue of remarriage for a believer whose spouse had died. Note he gives that a blessing as long as the person she marries is a believer.

3. vv. 17-24: Contentment is the key to the Christian life.

This passage, right at the center of this teaching, hits a core issue for the believer. That is, we are to find contentment in all circumstances, knowing that our ultimate hope is not in the things of this world but in the God who is sovereign over all.

Note v. 17: “Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God called him.”

The question on the believer’s lips is not: God why haven’t you given me a wife or husband? Or God why didn’t you heal my broken marriage? Or, God why won’t you convict and convert my unbelieving spouse?

The believer has a quiet trust in the God who is sovereign over all of life. We see the circumstances of life not as chance and not as all our doing, but as the will of God being worked out. God grants to the believer a godly contentment in all the circumstances of life. Paul states this beautifully in Phil 3:11-13:

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

One striking thing that come through loud and clear in this passage is that the Christian movement is not one wrapped up in social or political liberation as the world understands it. What matters are not one’s external circumstances (i.e., whether one is circumcised or not; whether one is a slave or not). In v. 20 Paul even urges that “Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.” Christianity changes the world, at its best, from the inside out and not from the outside in. The focus of your identity is not how the world views you. The focus of your identity is that you belong to Christ: “You were bought at a price; do not become the slaves of men” (v. 23).

4. vv. 25-38: Young people, especially, should put the Lord first in their lives.

Paul had previously addressed issues of those who were already married or divorced. In the next unit, he speaks to the young people. He refers to them as “virgins,” as indeed those who are young and unmarried, from a Biblical perspective, are expected to be pure.

The question the Corithians were asking was: What about the young people? Should they get married or should they devote themselves exclusively to the Lord? You get the feeling that the first Christians had some pretty high expectations for their young people don’t you? We choose a church so our kids can get married. They were chosen by a Savior knowing he might demand that their children never marry.

Paul and the Corinthians were expecting the imminent return of Jesus. They longed for it. They did not know that God’s gracious plan was that he tarry so that even more might come to know him (cf. 2 Peter 3). That we here might come to know him!

Paul refers to this as “the present crisis” (v. 26). He says plainly in v. 29: “What I mean brothers, is that the time is short.”

What Paul really calls for in the believers is a setting a proper priorities in life. This is what Paul gets at in vv. 29-31. He says that those who are married should live as if they are not (v. 30). He is not advocating abandoning marriage. But he is saying that we should put no one before the Lord, not even our wife or husband. He suggests that what makes people mourn in this life or happy is trivial compared to the ultimate concerns of God (v. 30). In vv. 30-31 Paul urges a basic dis-attachment by believers to the things of this world. He says if we buy something we should act as it is not ours to keep (v. 30). We should use the things of this world but not become engrossed in them (v. 31). We should not be possessed by our possessions! The key is the last sentence of v. 31: “For the things of this world in its present form are passing away.” We live as “aliens and strangers” in this world (Heb 11:13), as people “longing for a better country” (Heb 11:16).

This applies to marriage too. It is a blessing but it is not the be-all and end-all. It is not ultimate. Only God is ultimate.

Paul makes it clear that one who marries should know that this is going to add responsibilities and burdens to life. Paul says in v. 28: “But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this” (v. 28). Paul knew the struggles of his own ministry that had including imprisonment, flogging, shipwreck, hunger and deprivation (cf. 2 Cor 11:23-29).

One thinks of those missionaries, like Carey and Paton, who struggled through difficulties and had to bury their brides in foreign lands.

This is why Paul says in v. 32: “I would like you to be free from concern.” He contrasts the concerns of a single and married man (vv. 32-33) and the concerns of a single and married woman (v. 34). But the key is v. 35. This may be the theme verse for this whole passage: “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

In vv. 36-38 Paul affirms both the choice to pursue singleness to the glory of God and marriage to the glory of God, making plain his own preference (v. 38).

I said that this teaching was aimed especially at the young people of the church. You make so many crucial choices in your early years. Ecc 12: 1: “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth....” Whether or not you will marry, and then, if you marry, who you will marry and how you will conduct yourself in that marriage is crucial.

Last November I wrote one of my Evangel articles about the life of Lottie Moon, the great SBC missionary heroine. Lottie Moon never married and devoted her entire life with “undivided devotion” to ministry in China. But I do not think she had the “gift” of celibacy as Paul had.

She suffered great bouts of loneliness on the mission field. I think she would have welcomed a godly mate, but she never married. She was courted by Crawford Toy. He was an educated man, a Bible professor. But he rejected the plenary inspiration of scripture and slipped from evangelical faith. Moon could not have such man as her husband. And so she lost that opportunity and went through life as a single woman.

In that article I quoted two things from Moon.

First, there was her response to a young relative who asked her if she had ever been in love. This is what Moon said:

“Yes, but God had first claim on my life, and since the two conflicted, there could be no question about the result.”

Second, on the flyleaf of Moon’s Bible were found written these words in her hand:

“O, that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service forever; O, that I could give myself up to him, as never more to attempt to be my own or to have any will or affection improper for those conformed to him.”

So, we too are to honor God with our bodies, whether in a godly marriage or in a godly living out of singleness.

Jeffrey T. Riddle
Pastor, Jefferson Park Baptist Church

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